Sunday, June 28, 2009 @13:16
Monday.
slack day.
Tuesday.
I can't remember.
Wednesday.
Pain.
Thursday.
Agony.
Friday.
Disappointment
Saturday.
saint.acting
Sunday.
revive.
The days remain as colorful as it is. the only difference..
im using an old school camera to take down everything.
blurred by the tears of endless pain.
reaching out to a love never exist.
drunk in sorrow and despair.
the only time when smile really exist is when the start of my shift.
the only time I can put everything aside.
not to affect anyone.
cheer up those who ain't happy.
its not that bad,
but I can't make it better.
sigh
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Saturday, June 27, 2009 @13:39
utterly disappointed.the pain is giving me strength to move on. far away.the silent stunt on my face is the usual look now.I do not have much thoughts.just repeating the pain over and over again.it hurt so much that my heart fainted.*blink blink*写信告诉我今天海是什么颜色
夜夜陪著你的海心情又如何
灰色是不想说蓝色是忧郁
而漂泊的你狂浪的心停在哪里
写信告诉我今夜你想要梦什么
梦里外的我是否都让你无从选择
我揪著一颗心整夜都闭不了眼睛
为何你明明动了情却又不靠近
叹息著谁又被伤了心却还不清醒
一定不是我至少我很冷静
可是泪水就连泪水也都不相信
这片海未免也太多情悲泣到天明
写封信给我就当最后约定
说你在离开我的时候是怎样的心情
where has my rainbow gone to?
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Friday, June 26, 2009 @14:42
Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.
its picking itself up I guess.. negative mind does set in at times.
soon after, it will vanish and the positive pills kicks in.
certain time, people tend to drift away, those who truly stay are the ones.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
my heart speaks louder than my mind.. whether she is pleasant looking in the eyes of others I don't usually care. as long as I am comfortable with her when I am feeling uneasy.
but that doesn't matter anymore. right?
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
I guess I do not know it. my mind is like playing tricks on me and I am rather disappointed with the repeated wrong of judgment.
time to look into a dictionary for an answer to this profound word call "the one".
The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite(same) sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
ahem.. I can't hide my feelings. when I am upset I am. when I am happy I am. this is just so simple. I ponder much when that person means a lot to me. not anymore.
PS: I am not very into guys.
Your views on education
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.
I still think education is IMPORTANT. but the real world is my ultimate goal.
I want to live in the fairy tale too..
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
that's why I am taking this degree isn't it.. haha..
tho' I love movies and digital media.. but I don't see me going far in this. and Psy seems to be my passion.
with love for it I will go far. Learning to love don't take me to another level. it will just makes me tired. i rather learn with love. than to learn to love.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
who ain't afraid of failure. that must be non human.
What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
mm.. I do care to a certain extend.
and heck care to a certain extend too.
I care when those people have impact in my life.
I don't when those people are just passers by.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
I am currently in this situation.
its contradicting when I am seeing both good and bad points of ONE thing.
so messy.
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Thursday, June 25, 2009 @10:02
it's so unreachable now.
the time to let things go, and move on, steadily.
it is not that I am not sad enough to mourn.
it is just not time yet.
the impact is so huge that you don't know how to go about letting those tears flow.
its like the moment you're announce with cancer.
the calmness. the silence. its frightening.
words are important.
the person saying it is too.
i make no influence.
you can't trust your life in me..
there ain't anymore I would ever ask for.
whether it is forever. or not.
I am not sure..
a cut can be covered up by plaster.
a bruise can be rubbed.
a stab can be sew.
a broken hearted, can't do much.
im stuffing my face.unwillingly
im forcing on stuff.its ok.
im setting goals.normal.
im letting go.mm.
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Monday, June 22, 2009 @11:10
You're a real charmer but you don't get swept along by the first person who shows an interest in you. You need time to be sure of your feelings and you don't get involved lightly. But when you wake up one day telling yourself you want and love a certain person, your life takes on a whole different meaning. You cover them with kisses and can come across as a bit possessive. No-one touches the one you love! As for your loyalty, it's exemplary. Out of all the people you have encountered throughout your life, you will want to be loved-up in the arms of a one of these kinds of people...and stay there. You two form a wonderful alliance together. From the moment your two meet, a calm climate, full of love and serenity, will be born. You will feel good in their company, you have more things in common than differences. Like you, they love children and family. Alongside them, you will feel like you're in a cocoon, without ever becoming bored. And you have one thing on your mind: building a happy, comfortable and solid nest with them!
what an encouragement?
but...
I wish I rather not be this..
cos in life. you don't usually gets what you see.
and its disappointing.
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Saturday, June 20, 2009 @15:35
a really cool weekend.
with bruises on my arm..
and
a required kiss for the return of MY phone.
continue dreaming my dear Jowy.
GOD BLESS
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Friday, June 19, 2009 @13:41
爱上了我不保留
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Thursday, June 18, 2009 @06:22
i am homely..
mommy's child..
wild wild wet..
late night movie..
Butter..
ladiesnight..
Taiwan..
Bintan..
Cocktailbar..
ThaiPub..
Vanessa's gonna stop singing at babyface.
suck! cos its gonna be a THAIPUB soon..
damn.
someone get me out of there.
sigh.
when the sun shine bright.
in the clear blue sky.
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Wednesday, June 17, 2009 @16:02
I want me to be young and childish.
my trying to be adult mind is just killing every single cells in me.
laugh at those childish couple.
hanging breakup at the tip of their mouth.
I envy them.
they are willing to give chance.
over and over again.
hold on...
till the last bit of ice melt in NorthPole.
hug the polar bear to bed.
escape to what you call paradiz.
skin me make me into a bag for a woman that appreciates.
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Tuesday, June 16, 2009 @22:35
as night falls.
I am hoping to see the sun tomorrow.
SIM here I come.
no boundary.
no hold back.
到最後我可以不愛了
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
@12:01
a friend told me...
a friend ask me...
a friend mention to me...
a friend wants to die with me...
how nice.
someone called me.
someone texted me.
someone care.
someone wants to take me out.
someone wants to hang out with me.
someone wants to watch a show with me.
a stranger message me.
a friend message me.
a stranger talked to me.
a friend talked to me.
i have bad memory.
but my memory stick is filled with memories
the words you said.
the actions you did.
the reaction you gave.
the expression you had.
I forget lots of things.
i selectively forgot those things.
at this moment of time.
i just hope to reformat my memories.
things said kept playing.
over and over.
and over and over.
*smash my head*
let those data flow away together with the blood.
fill my body.
let me have it for the last time.
and not forever.
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Monday, June 15, 2009 @18:08
I am going to pack and leave for heaven
on
May12,2066.
(... ehhh...)
have I place my life with
GOD already?
I am sorry that I might have to leave you first.
Then you need to find out the only true way to successfully commit suicide.
Don't try to escape your troubles by physical death
dying is just moving from one sphere of existence to another.
When your body dies you continue to live.
Death does not change you -- just your location! (Revelation 22:11)
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
@17:24
life.
it doesn't matter if we master anything in life.what matters is you have experience most of itbecause we do not have that much time to masters everything.relationship.a month is good enough to leave an impact and it remains sweet as a memory..quoted.
why is it that we are all trying so hard?
why is it that forever this word exist?
不知道为了什么忧愁它围绕著我
我每天都在祈祷快赶走爱的寂寞一开始你爱我最后你放弃我
还要用千言万语说得委屈你有多难过
我站在十字路口对抗心痛一个人-爱人的话不需要重轻轻的说我就懂-
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Friday, June 12, 2009 @19:22
when one have no intention in doing certain things,
there seems no point, and need to urge anything.
if a push is need to generate it, it is meaningless and pointless.
I do not say.I will show.
whether you know it or not, its subjective.
I will be fine in a while.
meaning that emotion vanish from then.
friends come before work. that's true to a certain extent.
this shows that different people have different priority.
different priority means different view points.
different view points means compromising.
when it doesn't come to a conclusion, means conflict.
I am an alien from outer space trap in this human body.
generating way more emotions than I can deal with.
when I choose to care.it seems like its not asked for.
so should I just not. and let it be.
I am capable of doing it, if this happens.
I doubt you even care, just like now.
someone can yearn for such things, but others just not need it.
why am I just being so sucky to not able to flex.
stab me on my angel let his blood cover me.
hang him on a holy cross across my back as he should be.
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Thursday, June 11, 2009 @18:17
normally its always the tone that makes a difference.
the words used..
human love to be loved..
show some love in the words..
put some concern in them..
this will be a better world..
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Wednesday, June 10, 2009 @20:21
F off fakers.
when its wrong means its wrong.
whether its on where. doesn't matter.
I hate bootlickers.
get a life of your own. or are you not contented with your own.
not satisfy with your own friends.
how sad.
I am just glad to have my small groups of mates which last a lifetime.
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
@10:06
simple life.
simple mind.
I got a lot of things
I have to do
All these distractions
Our future's coming soon
We're being pulled
A hundred different directions
But whatever happens
I know I've got you
You're on my mind
You're in my heart
It doesn't matter where we are
We'll be alright
Even if we're
miles apart
All I wanna do
Is be with you
There's nothing we can't do
Just be with you
Only you
No matter where life takes us
Nothing can break us apart
You know how life can be
It changes overnight
It's sunny then raining
But it's all right
A friend like you
Always makes it easy
I know that you get me
Every time
Through every up,
You know I'll always be around
Through anything you can count on me
.. I just wanna be with you
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @12:08
since this became so casual.
where's the passion in those words.
where's the tinge of love.
it vanished?
the greetings so stranger.
when we're no strangers.
I seem to lose myself in a whirl of thoughts.
stuck between past and present.
changes in me.
changes in you.
.. just can't do so.
when the sun shines bright in the sky.
the warmth embrace this land,
in this dark corner of my cradle,
there ain no touch of such.
when the moon hang itself in the air.
stars twinkle like crystals.
so beauty. so full of hope.
in my eyes they are just tear drops left behind.
I just need a crying session,
to release.
too cooped up till its so hard to breathe.
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Friday, June 05, 2009 @12:14
Home is fucked up.
I hate home. with the noise.
all the over volume of one another.
the wrong word used.
the tone. THE EVERYTHING!
isn't home a place of peace and comfort.
isn't home a shelter for problems.
what a lie.
so just shut up when I hang out and feels reluctant to come home.
I suppose tho' I hate those noises,
the club will be the only place I find joy in.
let the hip songs cover my sorrows.
do I really look happy. it doesn't matter, its too dark to even see.
nobody understands.
a wall is slowly building.
what's the pin to that lock inside.
I have no idea. someone gotta find it.
I fucking hate home now!
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
@01:41
I am in a state of discomfort.
I just need to be alone, and be cacoon up with lava.
wait till the butterfly emerge.
certain things ain't clear.
and its just my one sided view, time can prove my theory all wrong.
eyes are in front not behind,
keep thinking about the bygones.
life will be miserable.
the clock will never go backwards.
its constantly chasing each other around that face.
it may be the post-challenge.
i just hope its not depression.
maybe its time to get my angel a companion.
I am sick in the mind.
I need pain to take me out of my misery.
my psychotic mind is acting.
every second, have it in control.maybe not.
madness overwhelm me.
Dear lord,
take me by your hands out of this land of sins.
cleanse me with your blood.
give me a forgiving heart.
OMG! just whack me with a wooden rod.
and I will lost 60GB of my memory.
that's when I suppose I open my eyes to see what's ahead.
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Thursday, June 04, 2009 @13:44
the art of fixing two into one.
the art of separating two into one.
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Wednesday, June 03, 2009 @09:25
time that's over is over.
cannot be retrieve nor return.
time will wash away the weirdness,
or
build it up.
if we're to develop an intimate relationship.
we need to know each other's desires
if we wish to love eac other,
we need to know what the other person wants.
it is the difference in aim in life.
it is the different principles we hold.
that is individuality.
south and south will repel.
north south attracts.
girl girl attracts.
boy boy attracts.
milk and honey stars.
coffee and sugar.
honey and lemon.
bread and butter.
are these the perfect matches in life?
milk can go with coco pop.
coffee can go with milk.
honey can go with water.
bread can go with nutella.
this should be personal preference.
change.
my life is changed, changing.
constantly.
what is forever in human life.
like what's written.
don't promise forever.
don't give empty words.
don't plan too far in life.
does that equals to no aim?
I can't live my life without an aim.
a living zombie.
I will become psychotic.
haven't jump out of this phase in life.
I still need my swim, my gym, my work,my jog.
words said ain't impactful.
meanings is what matters the most.
I gave it a thought through my nonchalant face.
its development is scaring me.
the fact that I do not want to face.
the fact that had been a truth.
its like a nightmare playing at the back of my mind.
please tell me that its not true.
it may be a difficult life,
it is a crazy life.
being together does bring out the better in us,
may it be the best in us.(finger cross)
but this is our life.
and we are in it together.
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
