I know I hurt you alot.. but I hope you can understand..
Holding back all these for so long, I feel at ease after pouring all these things out, at the same time I feel so hurt.. I do not know why are these two feelings the extreme difference, they are just what they are. my words affects you. same goes for your words. it impacted my life, and I do not know what I should do. that's why the silence.
I do love you a lot .. seems like I am not the one you will approach in time of needs .. I am lost for words after seeing it ..I am lost in my own thoughts .. I can be generous in everything... but I can't be generous when it comes to you.
.alone. .sorting out those scattered thoughts.
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
@09:59
working in Cold rock is lotsa fun.. but my life isn't that full of fun.. how contradicting isn't it?
have I asked myself why.. I did.. answers known.. by me and myself and I and you and you and you and you...
to be honest, I am lost for words regarding that issue. I don't know how to answer to everything.. I only know I just want to study away my days.. and work away my hours.. and leave this place forever.. not holding back anything like a backpack.. not clinging onto anything like a monkey..
many thoughts running through my mind in the late night.. something that I can't straighten.. everything seems so complicated.. it seems like the world have too much for me think.. it seems like the world is ever changing.. it seems like friends are changing too.. it seems like everything is changing.. in a speed I can't catch.. in a speed I can't coop.. in a way I can't figure.. maybe thats how it function on earth..
what's so hard about living.. what's so hard to fall in love..
I just want a simple life.. I just want to love the one..
but nothing is planned.. I don't know where tomorrow lies.. I don't know where I will lie one day too..
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Thursday, April 24, 2008 @16:56
im too tired of my life
shhh~~ I don't want to talk anymore.
now and forever.
just go to school. hang with my friends.work. and go home.
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Tuesday, April 22, 2008 @23:18
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Monday, April 21, 2008 @17:20
I am so damn bored
am I too used to be out. am I too used to be home only when the moon is up. am I too used to be hanging out and not go home.
today is just not a home coming thing, but I am still home. sitting around feeling bored. and useless. and a bum. and what else.
school is as usually so what so ever. watched some parts or some film. doing our own thing as norm. ebuddy, google, friendster, blogs... what's more?
I desperately want to work in COLD ROCK man! life without a job is really unbearably uncomfortable.. I want my BUSY life back...
time to think about how to work and earn big bucks with passion!
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Saturday, April 19, 2008 @12:51
I've started working at Cold rock once again.. fun as usual never stopping hands, legs, eyes, brain? business have been good? cos we are so busy. need crew, new friends, new alot of things... got beer from May, how nice, and I confirm that I HATE tiger beer.
omg! daddy has been unreasonable again, ask me not to work and concentrate on my studies.. and I gave him the disbelieve face and ... silence. I do not know what to say, but I just hope that these people stop interferring into my life to stop me from doing what I am doing now, cos I am happy with my work load, tho' it make me wanna die ..knowing the fact that you guys care too much. and I need alot.
I hate Singaporeans.. ugly ones? God !! I do not understand how some people function.. maybe I am expecting too much from strangers. anyway, I HATE them all.. it is not my mood. it is just me. I know that I am rude to comment, but.. I did it in their face. cos they squeeze into my area, when it is already crowded. (roll eyes) just my thoughts. no one needs to agree.
I am in the NDP Livefeed thing.. is it a thing. anyway, i'm in NDP. the sad truth is.. training is on every SATURDAY!! can you sense the thunder and lightning? its a full day. I am building my portfolio, so that is what it is. I have to cancel work on all saturdays now, this means my income will be LESS, LESS, LESSER!! the thought suck.. to your concern, I know that we have plans on THAT day. I will have my way. and I am working towards that goal. No worries, have faith in me, cos I have faith in myself. I am not NATO. and I am not .. him.. not her.. not them..
my adorable baby is becoming irritating.. till I need to ask him to stop whatever he had been doing.. GOSH!! I hate to restrict him, but I do not have a choice, cos I love him alot. damn! I feel like a real dad to him, I know he's gonna hate me, cos, he showed it! I can't deny that he is very intelligent.. but as a dad I will have to teach him. he knows how to go to the toilet to pee now. (CHEERS for Coach)
i hate free riders! stop thinking that the world revolve around you. stop thinking that the clock ticks cos of you. stop having those stupid ideas. stop all those irresponsible thoughts.
it has been school. work. dinner with friends. and hang out. so nice to have wonderful friends around. so nice to have nice working environment. so nice to have dinner fellows. so nice to have people to show your sorrows. so nice to spread the joy. so nice to have breakfast together. so nice to have wonderful 2 years and the BEST last year.
now I choose to ignore. now I choose to just flood. now I choose to move on. now I choose to do it. now I choose to... be just like this. be just like that. to be just alone. cos no one understands. no one care. no one bother. i hate the shouting. I hate the questioning. i hate the doubt. i hate the" you must" i hate your mumbling. I hate everything about you. i am starting to HATE you once again. I do not know how to say it. but I HATE YOU!!
who can i turn to?
I hate to guess. I hate to question. I hate to doubt. I hate to think. I hate emotions. I hate ... HATE
please.. stop letting me guess. stop letting me doubt. I feel insecure. I feel unsafe. I need to be in the arms of safety.
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Friday, April 18, 2008 @12:55
time flies.. coming to the end of the week.. starting of my beautifully craved busy schedule..
in life not everything is perfect, some corner of this life, there is some imperfect things.. actions taken may cos harm to now and the FUTURE.
tonnes of thoughts are running thru my mind every now and then.. I don't know what are they for, maybe I am not busy enough. maybe my life ain't as fulfilling as it seems. maybe I need more work load. maybe I need ... ... a HOLIDAY?
is no that I do not.. is just that sometime I do not know why I .. is your.. makes me doubt this .. do you really need my.. I do not know how to show you that I .. maybe I ready did.. I want your .. so badly.. but why does it seems so .. because of .. and .. and .. and .. and .. no time .. no spare time .. no enough 24 hrs.. I am .. I am .. I am .. I am .. ever so hopelessly so never thought I am so ...
love? what a fucking complicated thing.. that is beautifully called.. I do not want to believe any of this shit anymore.. love is just love.. it is just a something that hurt people to the max.. to the core.. to the brim.. the most important thing is.. enjoy THIS MOMENT..love your life NOW..
love is a something that you don't have insurance for.. is a something you can't deposit.. but I am willing to insured my love for you.. cos I believe that I am capable of let you enjoy every of THIS MOMENT thru out your life.. the NOW last forever.. I can't ensure that tomorrow will be even more beautiful than today, but it will be a day we remember for life. even if its a simple day out at the playground swinging on the swing with an ice pop in our mouth.
love can be beautiful if you are contented, love can be beautiful if you not know too much, love can be beautiful if you give in, love can be beautiful if you not ask for return of any giving,
love can be fooling you.
[just some thoughts, take it or not take it] *lol*
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
mr chua.. the ever so best camera man handsome too
little Laura.. so adorable
..what girls are made up of..
what makes Cam Era so beautiful.
Paparazzzzziiiii~~~~ why you so HECK CARE?
Macho competition Mango? or yellow dye?
don't take dont take ah.. I kill you I tell you
com'on Sway your body ..
drown in Macho.. *burp*
stupid shoots!! I swear at the corner of my eyes.. I see those strangers staring.
hey hey.. its the girls!!
tai tai looking enough? damn it.. why she smile till so sweet?
ah ha.. Furd&Poo damn long ago??
coach is napping?
Hi I am just a lazy dog
I love Lunch boxes
the next big thing~~
she spoil my picture for NDP.. *wahaha*
the madness again
and AGAIN
pop in something nice..
and AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN
its the end of my wonderful days.. and the first week of school
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Monday, April 07, 2008 @23:33
so fast.. its coming to an end of internship.. and the BEST thing is.. I am still at the second week of work in my log book.. this suck, but i'm so reluctant to write as in to try to recall every thing that I've done.. man! its a chore.. cos.. my brain doesn't have the play back function and it will cost you about 20,000 to buy it if you want ( those who catch it catch it, if you don't too bad)
my days and weeks are passing so awesomely.. be contented.. act blur.. close both eyes.. be there.. right here.. these things made up my awesome days.. (more to add in, but i forgot what else) ha~ I am home alone again.. not really home alone, cos coach is with me! I am glad to have him as my beloved BABY!!! the only one who don't reject my hug.. the only one who don't reject my childishness.. the only one who don't reject my kiss.. the only one who don't reject my hands.. the only one who don't reject my love.. the only one loves it when I call him baby.. I can't imagine days without him, now is his bed time.. and its mine too.. but my hair are wet like a swimming pool..
busy with shoot!! busy with partime!! I need my holidays after I earn the money.. shall just work hard work hard, so that I am able to harvest what I plan to harvest at the end of the day..
the heart and the mind..connected? the soul and the body..connected?
i am sleepy... already
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Saturday, April 05, 2008 @12:40
What's your favorite food? salmon? potatoes? What's your favorite snack? chocolate? biscuits? What's your favorite drink? teh peng? miluku? What's your favorite pastime? shopping? shopping with you? What's your favorite sport? bball? walk the dog? i need to go for holidays.. i need to get out of all this hazard.. i need to run the race.. i need to suck up all the air.. i need to pierce more holes.. i need to buy all those things.. i need shut my ears.. i need to shit it out.. special.you. I wish to care less.. but sometimes I can't.. I wish to tell you heart.. but time doesn't allow me to do so.. listen to it.. at times of need.. not every one.. not every day.. listen to your heart.. listen to your mind.. listen to your soul.. the only one that can reach into you, is it me?
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
@12:25
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
@11:27
life have been great.. stayed over at my godma's place for a few days.. due to the shooting timing.. Had fun.. Had coffee.. Had lotsa food..
I miss Coach!! I miss You!!
its raining again.. but I am still happy.. goals are clearer.. dreams are clearer.. future clearer..
I like my life now and then and forever..
its coming to an end of my itp.. and its starting to be my new journey in school and cold rock.. I can't wait.. but I am gonna miss so many things at Mega Media..
coach is having fun with my brother's bag now, and I am watching some Taiwan's series.. how cool?? he just love to bite me.. I wonder why.. maybe its time for him to bite his mommy and NOT ME! he is getting bigger and bigger. still as cute. still so lovable. still so playful. Can't get enough of him man! too bad his mommy is so busy now, I suppose he misses her.. *haha*
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
♥` PROFILE
name: Zachery
age: 19/4yrs
Cute; Charming; Cheeky; Confident; Clever
thats crap.. but its me*grin*
I know I hurt you alot.. but I hope you can understand..
fashion yoz!!!
it's A.. dam
say cheese.. the last day..
its my last day too
little Laura.. so adorable
..what girls are made up of..
what makes Cam Era so beautiful.
Paparazzzzziiiii~~~~
Macho competition
don't take dont take ah..
tai tai looking enough?
ah ha..
the madness again
and AGAIN
