Thursday, May 31, 2007 @23:20
went SENTOSA!!!
what a damn waste of money..
no sun no nothing..
I am NOT Tanned at all.. fuuucko..
hate it..
I'm sorry peeps, it rained.
played volleyball, I think our skills improved, at least the ball can stay up for a few hits. CONGRATS!!!!
its super crowded at Palawan today, lotsa kids and people. seems like everyone is enjoying.
I'm not, cos there is no sun. FIne fine..
I seriously am going for the machine, at least it wont rain on me. CHEERS!!!
had dinner,then walked around vivo for awhile and slack at level 3 the usual place, right.. can I call it a smoker corner then? anyways.. I seriously being tortured by them.. *POUT* i'm a poor kid sandwiched between two meanies..
*ouch* Su was like pinching me and laughing like some idiot, Wei too.. gosh~ I called them besties.. damn!!! my arm.. near the pit.. it hurts..and I think Su videoed part of the process of it.. *yucks* if she ever had it on.. please pardon my kiddishness.. don't ever belief your eyes.. cos that can't be me..
My poor little left thumb is so hurt.. bruised, but some shit.. i can't remember how it got hurt, anyways, its healing. I hope.
and my body is like bleeding from lips to elbow.. wahaha.. they bleed without me noticing.. dammit!!
I stain my pants when my elbow bleed. its the stupidest way to have it wounded.
here goes:
i am done bathing and when I was about to leave the bathroom at Sentosa, having to carry my bag, I put my left hand through, while doing so, I turned to open the door, and "bump!!" it was loud enough for me to feel the pain. BUt when I looked at it, there isn't anything, and it doesnt really hurt, so I ignore. and then it bleed cos there was a slash. *sweat*
my feet was cut by those sand on the beach.. *rolleyes* I pay to get hurt?
on the way home by bus.. saw this cute little fellow.. she is so smiley.. wahaha.. and I'm playing with her.. she was like kinda far but we had a great time. those people behind me will be thinking that I'm sick in the mind, doing stupid things to make that little kid laugh. *aw* I know I have a funny face, but.. sshh.. don't tell people about it.
the thing is, she is not too interested in Wei.. oops..
am I that good with girls? wahaha..
DAmn, it makes me happy...
currently..
was talking to stinko minutes ago.. *haha* she is just so cute in that sexy voice..
yaya.. I just love to stick with you stinko.. so glued together..
my saturday shopping list
-PSP[asking for sponsorship of $100 from daddy]
-Long sleeve[1 more for hitp]
-black pants[1 more for hitp]
-black shoe [just a cheap 29.90 will do for hitp]
-Adidas Pink shirt [$69.90]
-gifts for host[dried food stuff hitp]
-change of currency[SGD to JPY]
-sweater[cool looking one but not above $100]
-bag[can borrow from KTS billabong]
-decent looking belt[below $70]
I so freaking tired..
but I am mentally strong..
and never get tired of loving belle..
*wahaha*
gotta read those script.. then hope i can do some brain storming in my dreams..
wahaha.. what a lame joke.. you are so cripple. damn.. gotta change.
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
@00:17
Update of new clothes for my closet. I think it is nice.. it's from TopMan. 
My motivation to get tanned cos I think that tanned skin + Pinkie will look GREAT. Once again, Topman product. I'm kinda hooked onto topman these days.
I personally think that this is nice.. but I gotta check it out at the outlet to confirm if im getting it, as in will it look good on me. wahaha..
I'm back for some update of life.
Basically, my life had been so filled MRTL assignments for the past few weeks. Created this little zebra named ZEBY, he is not very zebra like, which make him so UNIQUE. Finally its over..
That is Zeby. ain't he cute. He is the third generation btw. The first two clone was a HUGE failure.
Had volleyball today, had lotsa fun. I'm falling in love with Vball.. woohoo!!!
in that I don't really like Spiking. That's about it.
right, made a new friend, Sandle?? [how do I spell it?] anyway, she's a volleyball player too.
Shriek 3 was a GREAT show, it was a hilarious animation movie I would say. I had tears in my eyes when watching it, cos I can't stop laughing. Almost had asthma attack. damn!! its graded 4/5 stars. the models are just cool, I would say and the animation .. whoa~ is the word. I would practice more on this two area. *smile* I'm serious.
Ok, I'm back to say that ERWIN LIAN is leaving.. dammit!!! yucks!! I don't want!! what if a sucky lecturer took over.. what if that damn lecturer is not sarcastic? what if that lecturer don't joke about every single things? what if the lecturer don't shoot us? I really can't imagine that is actually the MRTL lesson we are getting.. *rolleyes*
I'm going tanning tomorrow, at sentosa, plus a game of volley ball too. hope it don't rain. and please don't rain on me. *pupeyes*
collected my blazer, damn small!!! I don't like the size. gosh.. *pout* and one bad bad news, I lost the school logo.. oops!!! not even a day. wahaha.. gotta pay $10 for the lousy thing. anyways.. my fault to lose it. it's kinda like a damn joke. okok.. yaya.. whatever, I'm just a joke.
saw this weird guy in school a couple of times. and we just can't stop laughing. he is super weird.
1.I was buying food one afternoon, and he was eating the same thing as I am. and guess what, he dropped the ingredient, I can't help it but look and smile, he smile back. *WTF* i'm sorry that I laugh inside, anyways. while waiting, he was like dancing. *rolleyes* that was somehow my entertainment. I'm so mean.
2. he was in the same lift as us after we went to FC5. going back to class, he was talking to himself while waiting for the lift. then he was smiling in the lift, we were like "er are you ok?".. then before he went out.. he smile and gave all of us a look.. *shiver* give me creeps.. ew~~
3. saw him again, he was walking down the stair, in a damn weird dressing. *wahaha* Cat and I gave each other a look. and started smiling. then he was smiling to himself. he lift his shirt up to clean his sweat or whatever is that, I saw his fats!!!! *sweat*
update of my personally life now then..
I'm pretty happy with what I have got so far.
*BIG grin* had you seen that.. my status was changed.. days back.
hear her whine and see her shine my days with her sweet voice.
see her smile and the miles I am willing to go for.
watch her sleep is what I love to do.
her sexy voice is out these days.. cos she is just too stubborn, so not willing to go to the doctor.
is her stubbornness I like.. is her character that make her so special..
I seriously love her cuteness, sweetness, uniqueness, stubbornness, whining self, her evil laughter, the way she left no choice for me, her "haiyo"[seriously no one can compare], her byebye [very nice!!!], her eeyer [so cute!!], her tsk[so funny!!].. there is so much so much so much to talk about her... so much memory..
but those memories are for me to know, and you to find out.. anyways, you will never know cos its SPECIALLY for me ONLY!!!
so much that I can't probably write everything down, as each day is its own unique little story about us. and ONLY us, SPECIALLY us, UNIQUELY us, JUST so us.. you can't find any copy of it other than the copy of it in my mind and her mind. there won't be any publishing, there won't be any printing of this LOVE of ours, as it can't be put in words. its something more than words, higher than words, can't be described in words, no words can tell our life..
cos happy can't tell how blessed I am
cos smile can't tell you how my smile is
cos laugh can't tell you how my laughter sound
cos blessed can't tell you exactly how blessed I am to have her.[she is mine]
cos love can't describe how much I love her
cos miss can't really tell how much I miss her.
*evilsmile*
-I love her this life-
-I will love her in my next life-
-I must have loved her in my previous lifes-
-just so in love with that CUTE girlfriend of mine-
zachy
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Sunday, May 27, 2007 @18:50
Love you with all my heart.
care for you with all I have.
I learn to be more thoughtful when it comes to you.
I learn to be more give and take in this.
Fate that we met people might say.
To me, I believe that, I have been looking for you all my life.
Till that fateful day I found you.
I found you fall for you.
I fall for you and Love you till this very day.
People say that time can make things less intense.
People say that as times fly, love will fade.
To me time can prove to you how much I love you.
To me as time flies, I fall even deeper in love.
To me the longer it is, the more I crave for you.
I never get tired of your whining
nor do I get tired of your smile
nor your laughter
nor your evilness
nor the special way you talk
nor the way you complain
nor the way you argue
nor the your alien speech
nor the way you are shy
nor the way you talk about work
I would always love to make you laugh
cos your laughter can make me smile
I would always love to make you whine
cos I love it and would give in when you do so
I would always love to make you argue with me
cos you always disagree with me and I love it when you fight by with BELLE's Theory
I would always love to make you disagree with me
cos I already knew that you don't agree or rather you never agree with me. just want to see what logic you can come up with. that makes me happy.
I would always love to make you say you miss me
cos you just won't say it, which makes me CRAVE for it
I would always love to make you say you love me
cos you NEVER wanna say it, that makes me wanna hear it
I would always love to make you beg me
cos you never beg and if you do, I will give in and you will seem VERY HAPPY, cos you get to sleep.
I would always love to make you laugh and say byebye
cos it is specially from you to me. its really nice. I swear I love it to the core.No one can do better. I will melt if I hear it.
I would always love to call you GIrlfriend
cos you are mine. and belong to no one elses.
love no one other than that blurdo.
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Friday, May 25, 2007 @23:59
I'm damn fucked up now.
No one can help.
so stop asking me.
I just want to end it here.
bye
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Thursday, May 24, 2007 @23:45
Thinking alot today.
dammit....
hate life.. my life in particular...
here comes a story
one day, this guy was driving his girlfriend.
then suddenly his girlfriend told him, "can you pull over for awhile? I want to talk to you.".
"ok" said the guy.
they then stopped by the road side, and the girl told the guy.
"I think we better break up."
the guy then move over to the storage in his car and take out a folded piece of paper. He then passed it to her.
then a truck lost control and bang into their car. they were both injured.
the girl was lucky to survive while the guy couldn't make it through.
She then pull out that piece of paper, and it is written
[I would die without your love].
end
did nothing much today, just to school, drawing and lotsa work. went to new urban male to buy 2shirts.
end of my day.
'm feeling fucking unhappy. happy or unhappy is for me to determine, not others to say.
slowly losing myself in the dark.
where is my LED light?
fucked up day.... i don't know why.
so many things coming to my damn brain.
i want to stop thinking about those damn assignments and lotsa problem.
'm not crazy.. stop controlling me like a baby.
don't think that you can get anything out of me. I'm damn freaking determine to keep my damn mouth sealed regretting my own problems. especially my love. I have the responsible to keep my love safe, loved, protected, at ease, happy, smiling....so what is between me and her is for me and her to know and for YOU to find out.[hahaha] that is provided you have the ABILITY to know.
you said that cutie suits you more.
I said that girlfriend suits you BEST.
cos it sounds cute when I call you girlfriend.
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Wednesday, May 23, 2007 @18:34
I am bored till I'm switching channels...
Telly is screaming at me now....
I stopped finally at Ripley's Believe It or Not....
FInally done with my stupid zebra.
I'm gonna draw my graph, I was thinking should I redo.
I already had one that is smaller. I'm still thinking
Planned to go jogging at 1930
*smile* I need to sit by the teevee at 2030 to watch DEAL OR NO DEAL
eating chocolate. Sudden crave for chocolate, so 'm getting it.
It was actually planned that I will be meeting those guys today for a trip downtown. for some reason, it is postpone. Cheers!! cos I wanna watch teevee.
school tomorrow.. I wonder what are we gonna do in school other than drawing.
these days are the Graduation Ceremony of SP. Madaleine is from SP, she is my senior, Wow~~~big big big whoa!!!
anywayzzz, i still find school a bore. other than my new found love----> DRAWING
Talking to Kelvin earlier, he wanted to meet up for a drink.
was shocked.. he recently fell out of love.. aw~~ poor you. anywayzz, stay strong, cos, I really can't do anything.
he is super irritating, he FORGOT my name!!! disguisting he is.
the worst thing is he remembered that he keep irritating me with LOuis K shooting Pornograph. I wanted so bad to kill him.
about Louis shooting porno, i just want to say
HE DIDNT !!! ARSEholezzzz!!!!
Life is just normally normal these days.
other than today, I get to eat chocolate!!!
whooppeedoo~~
Let me talk about....
Whatever today
Personally, I do not as in DO NOT like the word whatever..
reason being, I HATE IT. cos it is such an irresponsible word.
*haha* don't you think so?
Susu love to use it, knowing very clearly I hate it.
Once, she said something similar to me, and I picked up the phone immediately and called her asking why she says that. [kinda weird].
Yea, guys.. i really don't like that word. so PLEASE don't use it.
other than Whatever.. there is Anything..
yucks~~ hate such word. so unclear. I will never know what you really want if you use it.. so kindly don't use it cos I will be thinking all day what you really want. it bothers me.
hmm~~ I'm bothered what you want, cos you are so important to me. *oops* am I giving myself away?
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
@02:42
Gosh~~ it's 0242 and I'm still up.
already done
- 'm half way through my zebra
- 'm done with HITP ppt [not perfect]
- seen the HITP banner
- drawn two ladies[just the poses]
feeling kinda tired and hungry.
on tomorrow
-1A23 class outing tomorrow @1700 @orchard
-dining out with them
-I need to do some shopping
checked out the tanning machine. it's cool only 15mins and I can be tanned. No worries about rainy days. No worries of being fair after hours of roasting under the sun.
by tomorrow
- complete my zebra [draw]
- Joints for zebra [Modeling]
- draw more poses [draw]
- case study [MLP]
- plot graph [CFM]
end of task list
bed time pals..
my eye lids are heavy.
and my body starts to itch
I see "Zzzz" flooding into that bubble above my head
I had a tiring dream this afternoon while taking my nap,
the story goes:
I was running away from loanshark. WTF , isn't it? It was thrilling and tiring. Rare experience. Interesting dream. the thing is, they are after me cos someone else borrowed money from them, even more WTFuack isn't it?
basically I keep running, house hopping so to say. I'm with a couple of people. the funny thing is, they are just after me, just like an adult version of HIDE and SEEK.
Yawns~~ tiring
Haven't been dreaming about vampires invading earth. that was my another tiring dream. I had it very often, and it is always the same scene. just like those movie. The only difference is I'm running away from them instead of "fighting" them. the whole world is running. I'll be always running on the damn huge and long highway,I will always be climbing up and down the highway. they(vampires) will always be hot on our heels. NO matter how fast or how long we run there is always a new group behind us. it's like D-day or rather V-DAy. *wahaha*
Big yawns~~
I've been jogging these days, and I have to RUN even in my dream. How tiring life is? But i'm loving it. that makes me wanna sleep.
things I do everyday
-eat oreo+milk+banana
-draw
-listen to HITP selected songs
-learn to speak Jap
-thinking of how to get tanned
-visit friendster
-visit blogs
-text
-watch teevee [when I'm in the mood]
-Shit [up to 3 times a day]
-chat
-do my assignment
-Missing someone[every second]
-loving someone[every millisecond]
-think of shopping list[if i'm too free]
-SLEEP
-volleyball[touching it]
-Bathe
its really time to sleep cos I'm so so so Hungry now.
Night
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Monday, May 21, 2007 @20:15
back from HITP prep camp..
it's a camp where we're so cooped up in this aircon room for 3days2 night...
no sun no nothing.
can't even get out of that place, so we will just have to entertain ourselves by going
lots of planning lotsa discussions lotsa ideas...
tasks list for HITP trip
-ppt about SG
-banner
-T-shirts
-4 songs to learn
-japanese
all those things listed are all almost done except for the T-shirt designs..
it's a lot of things to prepare before departure and gosh.. bad bad news.. there is no time slot for shopping.. damn!!!
HOW??
I went sentosa on sunday after camp to tan myself..
and GUESS WHAT!
i'm not VERY tanned.. WTHeaven is this man..
I will continue doing so till I go over..
*hee* my GOAL!!!!
the sun was up and BIG!!!!
and I love it.. I feel the fucking heat on my face and my body.. it's like an outdoor sauna.. and I'm not tanned..
SUsu is so SO so SO tanned.. I'm jealous about it.. *rolleyes*
went to the ZOO
to look at animals and ZEBRA
having sun taking pictures
we finally saw the zebras moved away from their food bowl..
'm so touched that my tears almost flow out.. *chey*
nah~~ i'm just joking about it..
didn't stay there for too long cos, its hot and HOT and HOT...
'm currently spending most of my travelling time learning japanese..
and I found out that I sound like an Indian..
*haha* isn't that cool??
woohoo!! don't seems to remember very well..
*whackhead* I think its rusty.. need a little polishing..
sitting in my brother's room typing this post..
'm suffering from headache..
gotta draw my zebra for Drawing module by tonight..
*smile* I love drawing!!
I will upload those retarded pictures when I'm free..
Oh!!
I got a few albums.. YUI!!! my new love..
my shopping list is getting longer and llloooonnngggeeerrr...
i really have no mood to shop at this time .. wonder why..
er.. cos I'm not in the mood
Today had a talking session..
its ok..
and I'm kinda shock..
I really wonder what she knows man..
and I think you guys know me well..
if I don't wanna say... then you will never get anything out of me..
*smile*
that's me..
so I just smile and laugh for the whole while..
try talking to me again.. don't think that you share yours and I will tell you mine.
It all depends on how much I trust you, baby.
*hee*
the things you say might be right..
I didn't deny anything.. doesn't mean I agree with everything..
just that I have no comments..
I prefer to let people think what they want to.. and the most important thing is the things I know deep in me..
YOu are so right that I keep alot of things to myself.. *hee* and you are right that I've double face when dealing with life..
the one you guys see is the 1 and the one I see is another (which is never shown)
I rather worry for others than others worrying for me.. don't ask why.. don't ask me to stop doing so.. if I do stop.. that's not me.. get it??
-joomata-
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Thursday, May 17, 2007 @15:08
school ended " peacefully" too much work to do manassignments are still high like a mountainsomething that singapore don't even have..WTH..Gosh.. its raining once again..So prone to falling.. I just hope that I can walk with extra care..Going home to do my animation NOW!!!due date is tomorrow.. gosh.. and I'm like still sitting on it like I'm shitting..Hold on.. its longer than I shit.things are heating up.. camp is tomorrow.. so many things to do..-tobecontinue-
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Wednesday, May 16, 2007 @08:41
A New day!!!Guess what.. it's Vball day once again..WOoHoo!!!The day is still young. Modeling lesson.. I'm in school pretty early.. to use the computer.. wahahaLooking forward to Volleyball.. my only motivation for today..Hiroshima trip meeting yesterday was kinda Don't know each other..made new friends ..-Valarie(the girls)-Yuting(the girls)-Jack-Caster-Johnny-Alvin-Joshua-er.. oops one more can't remember-Jane(In charge)We talk about the roles we have to hold when we are over.. got the schedules..gosh~~ my flight is like 1 in the morning..yawns!!!taking SQ868.. if i'm not wrong..will be reaching Japan in the morning 8plus..as for returning.. it will be morning flight..arrival back will be in the noon..I will be doing the video cam-ing for this trip..Gosh~~ no video camera.. *sobzz*I will be bring my Digi camera along..can't miss the chance to take tonnes of pictures..Having camp this friday from 1730 till Sunday noon..will be learning Japanese language and some manners..do the banners.. brainstorm for farewell party..gosh~~ its so camp like.. right.. about the group that are going.. I think all interesting people.. VERY friendly according to first meeting..enjoyed the time.. other than that we are pretty quiet..oops.. everyone is SHY.. planned to go jogging yesterday..but it was so freaking late..when i reached home it was already dark.. then mom cooked a HUGE chicken..man!! it was huge.. so I will have to eat.. if not she will screw the damn shit out of me..after dinner was just sitting around.. doing nothing..*hee* i was damn tired for these few days..WTHeaven.. anywayzz.. that's about it for my yesterday..[I wanna sleep][Yawnzz][lesson gonna start]
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Tuesday, May 15, 2007 @08:57
In school on a rainy Tuesday morning..
I just finished my animation at 615..
I'm such a lazybum that I went to bed yesterday without completing.
thus, I woke up at 0400 today to do..
[proudofmyself] hmm.. I manage to wake up..
something is not right about that man of mine.. he is sliding!!! like michael jackson.
DAMmit!!!
Went for a jog yesterday evening..
I love sweating..
I feel like sweating..
Love jogging!!!
Then volleyball with WEI..
Gosh~~ we're practically moaning in pain..
er.. you won't wannt hear that MOAN.. wahaha.. cos it's damn vulgar..
oops.. it's damn painful can?
the pain went right through into the skeleton.. or is it bone?
anyway.. I had fun laughing..
Went for Macs double Ofish meal..
Gosh!! it's damn freaking huge..
I'm so pregnant after eating it..
BURPpppp~~~~
[I'm Lovin' It!!]
I will be having a meeting for my Hiroshima trip later at 1730 at SAA office..
it'll be a long long day..
I'm not actually looking forward to it..
cos I'm so freaking tired..
so restless..
plus the weather is making my eye lids so so so heavy..
in the first lesson now.. everyone is like doing the MAN.. he is the MAN..
he is blue.. he is skinny.. he is damn irritating.. he is giving me a headache..
he is making me frustrated.. he is making me miss my dreams.. he is just a 3D model.. *wahahaha*
Oh~~ and on the way to school, there is this guy sitting next to me..
I'm seeing ZZZzzz .. gosh~~ run!! I don't want him to lean on me to sleep man.. Yucks!!
GO AWAY!!!
My bag is freaking heavy btw..
my body is being drag down.. I'm slowly sinking into the ground..
it's seriously time to buy a new slippers..
cos that hava of mine makes me wanna fall..
ew~~ I don't want to embarrass myself..
*teehee*
School gonna end in no time..
woohoo~~ can't wait for it to end..
e-learning is round the corner..
and my mood is getting better cos I get to rest and go to sentosa..
*wahaha*
lots of assignments to do tho'
but I will be able to survive..
Goals before Hiroshima
-draw more anime characters
-get tanned
-cut my hair
-master the damn art of volleyball
-shopping for my trip
-save money.. i'm broke
lesson starts..
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Sunday, May 13, 2007 @22:50
Hang over!!! suck!!
Dammit .. no more drink.. And I pledge that man..
I was seriously drunk.. the worst so far..
I puke in a dirty toilet bowl.. Yucks.. Luckily I clean it first..
*wahaha*
I can't remembered much of what I have done..
but I know that the feeling suck after the drink..
I drank so much cos.. I lost the game..
In Su's blog.. is a damn video of what will happen if we get drunk.. RUBBISH is what you get.. Please don't watch it, cos i really don't know how to face the world after watching.. *sob*.. SUsu please take it down.. I'm begging you.. *puppy's eyes*
PS. don't ever ask me to play those drinking games cos I seriously suck at it and I will lose.. then I will get drunk.. if you wanna take care of a drunk baby then go ahead and make me drink..
[I will upload those pictures I took the past few days]
my lappy is kinda retarded these days..
She is unhappy about him and her once again..
I really don't know what to do when people cry..
just not good at comforting job..
I only can try my best to make you happy by leading you away from what you are thinking..
I'm only good at surprises.. not good at telling you not to cry..
the fact is I'm scare to see people cry.. I'm lost to hear people cry..
I don't mind that you cry.. just that I will just sit and watch you do it..
that's the reason why I only cry when I'm alone.. when no one is around..
*scratch head* I really don't know why this is like that.. but it is just so like that..
I just seriously hope that you will be happier after getting drunk..
in love there is no right or wrong.. in love no one is clear.. in love there is no answer..in love there is TONNES of I don't know.. there is lots of shrugs.. there will be lots of tears.. you will face with lots of problems.. many obstacles to cross.. miles to run to get there.. lots of lost..
for one sweet memory that might only last for awhile..
be contented that is the key to happiness..
sometimes when things ain't going well.. you need someone to talk.. There will be lots of them.. advices are not nice to hear.. nice words are not advice.. why ask when you already had an answer to what you are thinking.. just to doubt confirm.. you said you never cry again.. but you did it once more.. *smile* can't be blame cos I'm like that.. cos of someone who holds such an important part in your life is doing things that you don't like.. but you don't have the courage to tell that someone off..
That is what makes up life story.. isn't it?
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Saturday, May 12, 2007 @22:41
I just want to say sorry to those who are dead worried for me..
I know that I'm giving you guys lots of problems..
I can't promise that I won't do it again..
cos that is me.. I can't help but worry for so many people..
Hearing that everything is solved..
My sun is up and my smile is back..
YOu might say that I'm stupid or whatever..
But you don't know us..
IN this thing, only me and her understand..
to me that is enough..
I can't stop loving her..
I can't stop needing her..
I can't leave her cos I don't know how..
I love my girl so much.
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
@20:29
I lost my smile from today onwards..
I don't know how to smile..
I don't know how to be happy..
Everyone can notice that I'm unhappy..
I know that I'm happy..
Frown are what is on my face..
sorrow overwhelmed my day..
I'm so full of thoughts that I can't be happy..
What is wrong with me now?
I used to be happy go lucky
I used to be able to see things in a positive way
I used to be able to cheer myself up even when it is the worst day of my life
I used to be able to put on a fake smile even when my heart is hurt..
this time round.. My smile don't seem to be able to cover the pain and sorrow..
Pain killer may work, right?
I want to numb myself..
I want to free myself..
Trouble are overtaking my life..
it is overtaking my day..
it can't be resist..
it can't be stopped..
Facing it is the way..
that's what I am doing now..
I know that I have hurt lots of people ..
I'm sorry that I have hurt you guys..
But please stop worrying about me..
I know what I want.. I know what I'm doing..
I can solve it by myself.. it will be over soon..
-i will see the smile soon-
-the smile that seems to disappear is coming back-
-really soon-
-peace out guys-
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
@14:31
NO MORE COMMENTS ON MY TAG BOARD!!!
I DON'T NEED IT AT ALL !!!
IF YOU ARE MY FRIEND. JUST LET ME SOLVE THIS MYSELF
thanks.
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
@11:46
Omg.. What is wrong with me..
My tears are just flowing down like nobody's business..
My heart is missing you..
My brain is thinking of you..
I can't stop loving you..
I can't leave you ..
so broken into pieces now..
i really don't know what to do..
someone please tell me..
I have tried..
but I can't .. seriously can't..
breaking up is never easy.. Didn't expect it to be this hard..
in a daze everyday..
Thinking about the scary future..
Thinking about the wonderful we had before..
that set my heart cold..
thinking that I seriously can't have you in my arm anymore..
thinking that I seriously can't love you anymore..
thinking that I seriously can't miss you anymore..
thinking that I seriously can't call you anymore..
I can't stop that routine of loving you
I can't stop that routine of missing you
I can't stop that routine of calling you
I can't stop wanting the compliment of having you
I can't stop wanting the compliment of hugging you
I can't stop wanting the compliment of you loving me..
I seriously don't know what i can do
I'm a useless fellow that has been crying from 0200 till 1156..
i seems to have so much tears in me..
I already told myself to stop crying..
I already told myself to smile..
I already told myself stop thinking..
but the more I say those things to myself..
the more I miss you..
the more I love you..
the more I want..
-loosing bit by bit-
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
@03:35
一个人生活 林凡叶子在窗外轻轻爷
人行道没有行人走过
镜子里的我很不像我
自从你离开了我变得很软弱
你的影子在每一个角落
好像是在提醒着我
少了你的陪伴我现在有多寂寞
我想我可以习惯
一个人生活我想我可以假装不曾爱过
冰凉的夜里让眼泪温热我
感觉如果要走谁能说 no
我想我可以习惯
一个人生活在记忆里面擦去你的承诺
爱情怎么会是这个结果
爱情是个梦而我睡过头
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
@02:51
It ended just like that after 9months4days6hrs 54mins..
I seriously can't control my tears..
it just came flowing down..
I seriously love her alot..
I seriously can do anything..
I seriously can kill myself..
if she is gonna die.. I am going too..
I can't live without you..
I really can't..
It hurts so much..
so much that I can't take it anymore..
please don't leave.. I seriously need you..
You want me to stop texting you
You want me to stop calling you
YOu want me to stop loving you
YOu want it all..
I can't say anything now..
I know that I'm so useless..
But why don't you just believe I will kill myself to help you..
I'm willing to do so..
I'm not giving you fake hopes..
I seriously want you to be mine and I will protect you..
but why are you saying that..
I'm so hurt by those words..
which is so true..
Why keep saying thankyou..
I hate it..
Thank you is not what I need..
I'm sorry that I have been telling you how much I love you for the past 9months and I know that it is giving you pressure.. I have ruin your life.. it is all me which have brought this upon you.. My tears seriously can filled the yellow river now.. cos I'm so hurt.. My heart is aching like nobody's business.. My tears are blurring my vision..
I feel so damn happy when you said that you love me.. I feel so happy that day.. that day is the happiest day of my life.. today is the worst day of my life.. I seriously don't know what to do.. I'm so lost alone in this world.. I lost interest in it.. Cos i lost the most important person in my life.. Where have the special someone gone to.. I need you back in my life.. I need you back.. How am I to live my life.. how am I to go on.. it is not as easy as you see it.. I can feel that this time its really the end.. OMG.. Im so sad.. freaking sad.. she just walks out of my life like this.. I didn't know that my love for her is hurting her.. I didn't know that my jealousy is causing pain.. I didn't know that my promises made is all words of comfort.. I didn't know that I'm such a useless fellow..
I didn't know that I really can't stop loving her..
I didn't know that I really can't stop missing her..
I didn't know that I really can't stop worrying..
I didn't know that I really really really miss her voice..
I didn't know that I really want her so bad..
I didn't know that I'm really so heart broken now..
I didn't know that I really can't live without her in my life..
I didn't know that I really treasure her that much..
I didn't know that she is already part of me..
I didn't know that I need her so bad..
I didn't know that it will freaking hurt so much..
I didn't know that it will be so hard to let go..
I didn't know that it will be so difficult to stop loving..
Now I know everything.. Now I know that it hurt me like hell..
how can i stop my tears from flowing??
how can I stop myself from pouting??
How can I stop the pain??
How can I stop this?
deep down lies the answer.. it will never stop.. cos I love her too much.. I love her so much more than myself.. that it is so hard to accept that she is gonna step out.. there will gonna be a huge hole in me that can never be filled up.. a place that she holds now and forever.. even now that she is gone.. I will be waiting.. waiting that hopefully she will come back to me.. come back to into my life.. come back into my arm.. just come back to me please..
even if you lost everything.. YOu still own me.. I always belong to you.. I know that my the least valuable thing to you. or rather I'm not at all important.. but to me you are the most valuable thing to me.. I treasure you more than anything..
she says everything ends tonight....
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Friday, May 11, 2007 @10:43
Lost IN LOVE..
just let me drown ..
I never wanted to be alive..
cos being alive DEAD is no fun..
-SIGH-
I cry cos I'm hurt so deep
You see a smile cos I'm tearing inside
I don't show cos I care for you more than I care for myself
You see my tears means I entrust myself to you
I don't like to tell others how I feel
You hear me means I love talking to you about it
I love listening I love worrying for others
You are someone to me if I get mad at you after listening
I act like its nothing if you tell me your stuff
You are FUCKIN DAMN IMPORTANT TO ME
-justFUCKEDup-
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Wednesday, May 09, 2007 @08:43
I'M in school!!!!OMGosh~~ I'm so freaking early = 'M NOT LATE!!!wahaha.. tired tired tired..went out yesterday for dinner.. its not bad.. that's about it..Volley ball later @1530 till 1500if I remembered correctly..oops.. Am I telling the world that I have STM??Okok..OH~~ I took the NEW TRAIN to school today..that makes my dayyyy.. I'm so happy.. Why??cos I took the new train..which means.. bigger space to sit and fresher air..the sitting space is SO BIG!!! *smile* don't have to get squeeze anymore..my fats on my butt can relax.. cos its BIG.. wahaha.. *cough*I'm still bloody hell coughing like crazy..can't sleep.. *pout* so i FINALLY DECIDED to take my medicine..*oops* am I telling the world I see a doctor and not taking those pills??I think it is damn freaking scary to swallow those pills.. boogybigYUCKSI saw a guy with a damn funny looking hair.. just wanna say its " CUTE" ..its like those atomic bombie hair..its so FLUFFY.. hmm.. or should i say bouncy?? whatever it is.. it is just so BOMB up.. GREAT JOB man... it is just so attention grabbing.. cos it got my attention for the whole while. which is like 3mins cos I'm waiting for the train...Girls nowadays are wearing short short short..wahaha.. big top without bottom.. as in no skirt or pants.. the top is HUGE that it can somehow covers the whole body..which means from where it should cover till below butt..Hmm~~ its nice.. *hee*provided that they have NICE LEGS..Things I want to do now-Talk to my Beloved Girl..she is still in bed.. *sleepyhead*the sleepyhead I love so much!!!! hee~~ I'm missing her.. its like a everyday thing to do.. -Go to sentosa for tanningYeah~~ I can't wait to get my butt to sentosa.. maybe friday is a good day to go.. hee~~-sentosa for volleyball gamehmm~~ i have to gather up people for this man.. hooked onto volleyball these days.. can't wait to have all sweaty and sandy..-relax in Cafe DM..wow~~ what a life to lead.. great isnt it?time to get back to reality.. i'm starting my modeling work.. it is fun tho' .. just can't live without the delete button that's all.. I will see my eyes sqeeze and my hand running through my already messy hair..*wahaha* .. anyway.. I'm loving modeling now.. Erwin is leaving.. WTHell.. NO dont leave!!!! *pout* sad sad sad.. how?? I really want him to leave man.. He is nice and everything.. Great maya dude.. and everything.. OMG!!! he is leaving.. -time to do my work--he is complaining now--oops-
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Tuesday, May 08, 2007 @08:46
I'm finally in school...Late.. horribly late for class. Lesson at 0800, and I left my house at 0800..journey down was super tiring..seriously concussingly tired..if i'm allowed, I can sleep on the floor anywhere.. i'm lagging today..things to be done..-printing of VPT-pay cheque-drop volleyIFThings are getting better on my side I guessand I'm really happy..are you? I'm falling deeper and deeper in love..are you happy??*hee*I just feel so comfortable..with everything you can give..things are clear and I'm enjoying every single day of my life.Are you?The most important is that you are happy and I will be..cos you are the most important person in my life..*BIG GRIN*basically these days are just tiring with all the up coming work and the now progressing work and the done workCan't wait for holidays..can't wait for my passportcan't wait to see youcan't wait for lots of things..Doing modelling now..my lappy is getting shittybut that is what it is getting everyday..-ismilecosI'mreallyHappy--IsmilecosYou'retoo-
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Sunday, May 06, 2007 @23:01
I'm damn CONFUSED now..
what is this all about man..
Big sigh~~
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Friday, May 04, 2007 @11:16
Dammit.. I'm sick..
Yucks~~ hate Medicine.. hate it..
don't like the doctor..
went to the doctor..
it was fast..
my medicine are huge..
Ew~~ how to swallow??
my throat hurts so much..
i feel like fucking it..
for no reason I'm sick..
its so random..
I have so much to do..
yet I'm sick..
hey.. I have no time to get sick now..
what am i suppose to do..
my work are piling..
my assignments are reaching its deadline..
and I can't do anything..
irritation.. frustration.. low tolerance..
same sign when I'm having love sick.. oops
they are all sickness..
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Thursday, May 03, 2007 @19:58
Where do I stand?
somewhere.. but don't know where.
Where am I heading?
there.. but not there yet.
How important am I?
important.. not important.
Who am I?
someone.. replaceable someone.
What to do?
nothing.. absolutely nothing.
How's the future?
somewhat dim.. with light.
the day went well...
other than ..
I slam the door on my finger on the way out.
I almost fell while walking to school.
My toes are all dirty due to the rain.
I'm down with a cold.. I think I caught in the rain.
My days are so lifeless.. restless.. dreadful.
don't seems to be able to finish my damn hell lots of work.
starting to hate school.
so weak after a day in school.
still have to force myself to perk up.
WTHeaven is that?
It's life, asshole!!!
Ryan is sick today..
GET WELL SOON,RYAN!!!
My damn head is spinning now..
my eyes are oozing tears out..
my nose is block..
my throat feels so dry..
my voice is so SEXY!!
it hurts my throat when I swallow..
I wonder will my vulgar words sounds SEXy too??
wahaha..
tonnes of work to finish before I can head to bed..
-draw my stupif AF assignment
-Write my damn script
but all I want to do now is to rest my worn out body..
-byefornow-
-I'mseriouslyExhausted-
-it'sNOTthetimetogetSick-
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Wednesday, May 02, 2007 @18:18
WOohoo~~ my Japan Exchange is confirmed..
I'm going to Hiroshima.. Yippy.. 1 week student exchange thing..
*hee*
Gotta place a deposit by next week.. Hope that I can live with new peeps man*shiver*..
*cry* Grace is going to somewhere else.. WTHeaven.. we wanna go together!!!
school was normal..
Modeling stuff again.. its like shit.. wahaha..
my brain are bursting..
can you see the juice oozing out?
GEMs class was canceled.. it was such a last minute thing.. I have to roll all the way down hill then walk all the way up ONCE AGAIN.. dammit..
things we do in the lab for 2hrs..
-animating the hip
-modeling the head
-surfing the net
-waiting for time to pass
-talk rubbish
-car time.. woots~~
first session of Volleyball..
it was a whole load of FUN..
I love ball games..
sweat all out in GAMES!! YAY!!!
over all it was fun, it started to drizzle so we ended early..
Can't wait for next week cos that's the only time I'm having fun..
Home I am now..
once I'm home I'm stuck with the piling assignments..
what a life I've got..
other than my shitting time, eating time, bedtime.. i need excuses to rest.
can't wait to see you tonight..
miss you so freaking alot..
*hee* FINALLY HOME!!!!! welcome back sweetie...
-gotta go on with my work-
-yucks-
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Tuesday, May 01, 2007 @21:56
Woots~~
Super Model KAte Moss
she had her own Collection in TOP SHOP -- Moss Mania
I don't really know her, but people are queuing for her stuff..
so I guess it should be pretty cool.
I'm super not interested in those.. wahaha..
might be dropping by to take a look at what she has got.
*bigGrin*
provided I'm done with my work..
which is like NEVER!!
ARgh~~ hate it.. i still have tonnes of work to do..
24hrs is never enough for a lazy bum like me..
so easily distracted.. *whackhead*
hmm~~ things are pretty cool..
cos I haven't done much.. wahahaha..
assignments are a headache..
which I think I should STOP complaining about them cos it makes my blog a bore..
which I think makes my life so miserable..
I can't clean it up any sooner.. I guess I will just live with it..
Under one roof in one bed..
woohoo~~~ VOlleyball day tomorrow..
I can't wait to sweat out in that ball game..
and not assignments.. OOpss~~ here I go again
guess I will have to keep blogging how miserable I am now..
and sorry to you guys.. in case you are wondering,
are you complaining??
the answer is
YES I AM COMPLAINING!!!
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
@16:42
woop~~ chatted awhile on the phone..
hmm~~ her mommy is like complaining..
oops~~ called too much?
wahaha~~I call cos I miss your daughter alot.. *shy*
haven't been doing much..
ate oreo for breakfast.. Bread for lunch.. Air for Dinner.. wahaha
My teabreaks are those charts and work..
Gosh~ I feel so lazy to do my stuff..
but gotta force myself..
hate it when I have to force myself to do those dreadful work..
I can't wait to be approved to go to Japan..
hmm~~ reason being, not cos I'm dying to go there..
but is I can't wait to have my passport back to me..
I can't wait to go down to look for you..
it's miserable being DAMN FREAKING FAR..
-for now I can only sit and wait-
-for now I can only dream and wish-
-for now I can only think and hope-
-for now I can only miss and smile-
each day I think of you..
each night I dream of you..
never once my mind is blank.. cos it is always so filled with you
my phone is always so full of message.. cos I never once wanted to delete them off
my head is always thinking of lots of things.. surprises I wanted to give
my heart is always loving and missing.. the you that is so far away
my brain is always popping.. your smile
my ears ring.. your whine
those are the elements that kinda make my complete day..
I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you..
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
My motivation to get tanned cos I think that tanned skin + Pinkie will look GREAT. Once again, Topman product. I'm kinda hooked onto topman these days.
I personally think that this is nice.. but I gotta check it out at the outlet to confirm if im getting it, as in will it look good on me. wahaha..
That is Zeby. ain't he cute. He is the third generation btw. The first two clone was a HUGE failure.
I like her outfit. *smile* girls in this just look gorgeous. provided they have the THING to wear this. If not, I will just puke my breakfast lunch and dinner out. nah~~ i'm just joking about puking all those things out. that makes me so weak.
I suck at faces. so I chose to draw only the body. Pretty much love this. I drew this in HongKong Cafe in Cine yesterday. Sudden urge to wanna draw. I'm not good at armpit by the way.. I love her jeans. 
Damn. am i kissing that drawing of mine? I look damn freaking sick when doing so. Time to wake up and carry on drawing. Kissing her at City Hall MRT station. Gosh, was there lotsa people around me? what are they thinking?
This is a copy drawing of Her outfit. it takes me a day to complete. cos I keep stopping and thinking. I draw cos I love that person. I draw with care cos I care for that person. I just like drawing alot. Love you even more. 
Oh, come on and smile. why so cool? I'm taking picture with you. *wahaha* okok. I know i can't draw face. cos it doesn't even look like. I will improve on it. But to me I think this is GORGEOUS. I can stare at it 24/7. I can hug her to bed. [sick act once again]. 
hee.. nice body isn't it? I like her oufit and jeans. her hair is nice too. time to brush up on my skills of drawing. Proudly presenting to you this piece. the one I love with all my heart. it's a struggle to draw this, cos, there is lotsa stress. I want it to be perfect. I want it to look like. and.... it is never perfect, cos she is just too perfect for me to draw. I do not have the skill. *oops* still dare to say!! draw more practice more!! 
this is zeby. he is cute isn't he? he is a nice little pet who doesn't eat at all. and he lives within that space. Love him and he love me too.
