I have notice this trend in me, that I will go away, anywhere when I feel like going away from this place. from everything. from everyone. have been saying it for half a year, when can I really do it? it doesn't have to be a paradise, I just want to LEAVE.
it is a sign of weakness I suppose. this is running away. this is avoiding. this is hiding. this is what it is.
haven't been really happy about life now. haven't been really upset about it too. just neutral. that's why I find life a crap now. it's just so messed up with nonsense. I need shelves to file it nicely.
I have been working like a cow these days! these weeks! and I HATE it.. being a slave of money is no fun. but work have given me my joy in life. it have been making my life so colorful, how ironic. I live alone, I play alone, I eat alone, I shop alone, I wonder off alone, I cry alone, I watch shows alone, I sing alone,
I love being like this... with my imaginary friend. but where is my imaginary friend?
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Sunday, March 30, 2008 @23:00
work work work... tho' during work suck, but, this take up most of my time, I am tanned now. only on the arm. my hair is long.. i can comb some Orh bit hairstyle.. LMAO...
i am so not me now.. I look ugly.. I look fat.. I am old.. My hair suck.. -sigh-
so many problems to think about.. so many decision to make.. where will I land after graduation? where will I be 3 years from now? what will I be? I am confused about ten million things about my future.. about our future.. will I be working for my love? will I be a slave of money? will my time be my only income? will I love what I work as?
-culinary skill -production -psychologist -investment -sign on
some are happily in a relationship, some are unhappily in a relationship, some are happily single, some are unhappily single.
blinded by the beautiful lies.. blinded by the wonderful face paint.. it can be so nice, then so ugly.. words can be craved so beautifully that it fits all ears.. the meaning that hurts the heart..
I am starting to wonder about a lot of things.. I am starting to fear a lot too.. when have I been so unsure.. when have I been so insecure.. when have I been so low in confidence.. when did all this things happen, without leaving a hint. -mature thinking step in- -shiver-
do you see what I see? I beg of you to open your eyes to see clearly.. please.
love is not possessing.. love is not having.. love is not owning..
it is not that I don't love.. it is not that I don't care.. it is not that I don't want.. it is not that I don't ask.. it is not that I don't wish.. it is not that I don't hope.. it is not, just it is not..
people tend to be not alert when it comes to this.. make me want to roll my eyes.. I dislike .. I hate .. I don't want this .. I am disgusted by it -sigh- maybe you might think I am weird.. but thats me.. its my principle which I hold dearly..
I miss the smile.. I miss those eyes.. I miss your smell.. I miss your touch.. I miss your voice.. I miss your presence.. I miss your whine.. I miss your morning sneeze.. I miss your pout.. I miss your tantrums.. I miss your tao yan.. I miss that Beeecaaaussseee~~ .. I miss I miss I miss I miss...
-sigh- ..and move on..
.my daily routine is just work, home and sleep.
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Saturday, March 29, 2008 @23:11
yet another just passes, like that. without warning, without anything.
all i know is work, home, sleep and ... eat. food became a very big part of my life now, that's the only time I relax .. and eat. ^^ break fast, lunch, tea break, dinner, supper... can't miss any of this.
went to east coast park, quite frequently, whether is for shoot or for the stars, or for the food, or for the blades, or for coach, or for the sea, or... for whatever reason. I love the beach. if you and your partner are blading together, as in holding hands(this is what I saw).. what if you know you are going to fall? will you let go of your partner, or will you still hold on to your partner? what if your partner is going to fall? will you let go of your partner when he/she let you go? or will you hold onto your partner even when he/she let go?
if I am going to fall, I will let go of my partner. and if I know my partner is going to hall, I will hold onto my partner. I am wondering why.
the true self, what is your true self? do you even know whether this is your true self, or have you got so used to your mask that you don't even know what you are. this is alittle scary, if you don't even know who you are, how are others suppose to know you? the dark side and the colored side are just arm length apart. just like the moon and the sun... they are just stars width apart. you never know who is real and who is not, till they show their power. mentally prepare yourself before it comes, if you don't the blow will be too huge that you can't even handle it.
what are you to me? how many points are you now? which position are you at in my heart? how important are you to me? ... many many more.. shh~~~thats only for me to know.
listening to the bell, life can be suck a peace, but why ain't my life like that?
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Thursday, March 27, 2008 @23:23
my days are just so full of shooting.. and I am so enjoying it.
Our baby coach is getting bigger, and more intelligent, I love him so much now, I suppose his mommy loves him a million too.. he seems to be part of us, the 'I love you' will go to him anytime, anywhere.. you won't hesitate whether to give him a cuddle, cos he is normally the one rejecting it..
other than work, I am kinda busy hanging out with friends, lots and lots of them.. my circle of life!
work is getting from good to better, and soon its gonna be the best.. just can't bear to leave the company, I AM SO GONNA MISS CAMERA DEPT. *sigh* so much misses already, those are things that can't be told to in words, gosh~~ family, that is gonna be separated, this feeling sucks the most.
Do I love you?
Yes I do Love you.
Do You love me?
...er... Yes You do love me.
what is love? I love you, but I don't like you being like this. I love you, but I don't like you doing this. I love you , but I don't like you behaving like this. I love you, but I don't like this attitude of yours. I love you, but I don't like that action that you did.
I love you, and I do love the way you are. you will learn to understand, adapt to, appreciate. opposite poles attract, which means if you must be the right hand and I will have to be the left. if you must be the bottle and I will have to be the bottle. if you must be the sun and I will have to be the cloud. if you must be the moon and I will have to be the star. if I must be the money, will you be my value? if I must be the perfume, will you be my scent? if I must be the rainbow, will you be the colors? if I must be the eyes, will you be my vision?
there are many kind of people around, your actions might not be agreed by every single one, others actions might not be what you like. words are hurting if its the truth, lies always seem so beautiful.. that eventually, it wound you the deepest.
a thing seen by different people are the same, but the thought after seeing that thing will be different. try putting yourself in the shoe of the ones you love, the special ones, your vip in your life. You can't visualize anything. reason being, you don't know how they are feeling. likewise, ask yourself this, do they know how you are feeling? certain emotions, thoughts and mood can't be brought across without a little arguement here and there, the sun always shine after the rain without fail. darkness will be embrace by the warmth of the sun soon after.
.words is the key to unlock the secrets of the heart. its never easy, cos that's the only way.
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Wednesday, March 26, 2008 @01:25
work has been smooth sailing.. and I am enjoying every minute of it.. have been resting well after Saturday's OB..but the production schedule are getting scary..
breakfast is my favorite meal of the day.. tea break comes after breakfast..
different people hold different principle in life.. personally, I feel that as long as you have the ability to hold responsibility of whatever you doing. hold your principle there, if anyone cross over it, don't hesitate to fuck them off.. as I believe, everyone have a limit to how much shit one can take. personality and habit.. personality and habit is different, but when you are too used to doing something, your habit might become your personality, but that's a fake personality, cos its just a short word trying to act long. [that's just crap] this two words have hidden meanings to it..
things saw might not be told, but that doesn't mean I don't see it.
not saying much doesn't mean I'm fine with it, just that I'm too lazy to bother too much. certain things are to be shared to whoever you trust, but, you can't be sure that whatever is shared isn't shared again to someone that person trust. tho' each person have got a pair of eyes, things taken in by those eyes might be the same, but the thought that is being processes ain't the same, there might be some similarity, but even a hair strain difference is a difference. just like no human share the same finger print patterns.
to judge a person in less than 5 meetings is impossible, just like you can't tell if this book has good content just by looking at its cover for 5 times. having thoughts and having an idea how a certain person is, is unavoidable, but that's not the end of the story, cos I like to have evidence to support my views, evidence are just something to assure me that I didn't judge that person wrongly, and not something for me to hold against that person, I have already given you guys a stand in my heart,the likinghood of the chances in position you hold in my heart is close to 10%, I am a stubborn person.
everyone is 100 % to me, I don't mind anyone, doesn't mean I am close to everyone.
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Friday, March 21, 2008 @22:28
yet another week... its GOOD FRIDAY..
its the best friday so far..cos there is no work.. and I had a great great week..
yeah~~ OB tomorrow.. i can't wait..
GET WELL SOON PEEPS.. starting to miss their company..at work..
Clubbing at Play.. it was cool.. cos... I saw lots of familiar faces... and they are people of the same world.. but, my eyes are just too tired to even open.. girls can dance really well.. THAT GIRL can dance really good ..I like it the way you sway little gorgeous..
love is so simple.. that it got kinda complicated.. what is hot babe to you? "you feel weird when you see this girl" ... "you feel like teasing that girl very much"... "you tend to try to irritate that girl"... " you like the feeling when she got mad at you after you tease her"... "you like the way she whine at you"...
its sometime hard to control your emotions when it comes to the one you love.. you might be able to say ... "let her be".. "I don't care".. "whatever ah".. "I don't want to know"..
but.. deep down within you, do you really don't care? do you really want to let her be? do you really want to whatever her? do you really don't want to know?
mm.. thinking.. about it.. its all the opposite of what you really want to do.. isn't it?
why do you get jealous when you know clearly that there is nothing to be jealous about.. it's cos I love you so much that's why this kind of things will happen.. it's cos I care for you so much that's why I will get jealous over this kind of things.. it's cos I ... thats why its like this... Can't help it.. Try stopping it.. Hate feeling it..
when things got complicated, talking it out will do alot of help.. when things start to get complicated, sorting it out is the best solution..
..I will tell you, ..I am willing to tell you, ..I want you to know how I feel every time.. .. I want you to let me know how you feel too..
I love the way it is now.. I still love the way it was in the past.. I know I will Love it in the future..
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Tuesday, March 18, 2008 @11:08
I love babies!! gosh~ they are the cutest thing on earth other than dogs.. till now I love my Coach .. he's such an adorable little fellow.. nibble on this and that.. I think he is a big boy now, in size in thinking.. he stop whining so much now, but he still do * so cute*
as I watch him grow, I feel so glad, the first time when he is home, till now.. I suppose he is happy..
I LOVE OUR BOY TO THE MAX I LOVE HIS MOMMY EVEN MORE
life is so fun, life is so simple, life is so full of 24hrs, life is so ridiculous, life is life.
live now and then. thinking too far is just too far to be thinking about it.
I have so blessed with so many people around me.. my best bud, Clarice, Yenling, Coach( he's a dog), my poly dudes and babes, the girls, my family.. I am so glad to have them, I wish that they will stay with me forever, for life? life sounds better.. *haha*
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Monday, March 17, 2008 @19:41
went to work super early.. and i came down with a headache at noon, just right after my lunch... how cool..
maybe too much biscuit.. maybe too much food..
all in all work is fun.. when you hear... "its a WRAP!!"
my precious little girl is under so much stress.. aw~~~ I am gonna make it better.. at least slightly.. somehow.. I will..
you are never alone.. little gorgeous..
can't wait to go to work.. cos its lotsa fun.. tho' at times, there is some friction here and there.. but all in all.. thats how human interact
nelson promise to teach me guitar!!! haha.. such a nice guy.. cheers!! hope he's a better teacher.. *hee* and hope that I'm mature enough..
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Sunday, March 16, 2008 @12:31
looking at the tissue.. see that cheeky monkey? that's me...give it to you.. its for you to sneeze into, to tear into.. to do whatever you want.. just want to be by your side, be with you.. to witness every change of moods... emotions...
happy 6th!!!
I love you little princess
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Saturday, March 15, 2008 @10:20
hurhur... I pon school to go far east ah
cam whore.. its my favourite past timeeee..
haha.. yeah!! I got nothing to do ah.. the girls take so long to do their nails..
ARab street? seems like.. its a nice place to chill actually. with tonnes of nice restaurants and teh place
girls of the day its an outing man , its a FRIDAY
eh.. ah long ah!! haha
cooped up in edit? where are the editors?
haha.. what am I laughing at?
the movie at cine is so nice.. watching football? or what.. oh.. watching those dudes and babes, yo~
eh.. but I think she's the best eh..[ah long] haha
ee!!!! act cut e ah!!
my hot choc is still my attention.
im waiting people..
extra face there ah!! I only want the cups..
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
@09:53
its yet another week end.. work is so full of excitement.. outdoor shoot most of the time. rain the whole week.. which make me wanna say WTFook.. I am all wet..
went out after work seems to be the daily thing. for dinner, to shop, to talk, to CHILL..
town seems to be the next hang out after Bukit Merah Centre.. but who cares, town is the place for the MM interns..
had my hair cut, got my new earings.. what else.. nothing new last week, I suppose..
my daily hang out buddies are Angela, Catherine and they are just full of SHITE!!
best bud isn't left out too, cos they seems to love her alot.. haha.. linking me with her.. aw~~~ I know you people want to see her, so I will ask her out for YOU! anyway she is like so free.. "Wei Wei , do you enjoy hanging out with them? don't like can say eh.."
hey peeps, have you ever... think that this person like you, think that that person like you.
this is NORMAL! don't worry about it. when someone treats you alittle nicer, its easy to get mislead. Being nice and Treating you special is two different thing. for example, I can be nice to everyone, but I don't treat everyone special.
special as in, I will get a certain thing SPECIALLY FOR this person. I will do something SPECIALLY FOR this person. I will treat this person SPECIALLY DIFFERENT.. *grin*
nice as in, I will be nice ... which turn out mean sometime.
ok, enough of me.
liking someone is different from loving someone. like her personality or like her outlook or like her piercing or like her shirt or like her hair or like her attitude or like her accent or like her perfume .. .. .. .. .. it can be one thing, it can be more than one thing
love .. .. .. love is doesn't like her outfit or doesn't like her hair or doesn't like her perfume or doesn't like her attitude towards certain things or doesn't like her thinking or .. .. .. .. you just fall in love with this person so madly without a reason.
so is..
I like her alot
or
I love her alot
I LOVE HER ALOT ..
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
@09:32
Working at MM gives me you them the best experience. outdoor shoot is the BEST. F1 at Chingay..
Before the crowd came.. I'm at the top along with the tripod
Shiver!!! this tower is so unstable. but, I still need to get on to set up the tripod.
OB.. the best! indoor stadium.. with the plane like controls on our HD cam.
Studio with the PRO.. he's the man of lighting.. and the man of arts..
Library week.. busy busy busy.. my days with tapes were the past.
Mister Ryan reading the papers.
nice edit.. is it Shanghai?
say CHEESE!!!
Speed stack.. CAM ERA.. its the place for the man.
lobby of... the fantastic VILLA!!! velcome to SENTOSA yo
MY DREAM DREAM CAR.. zoom off with Mit Evo..
EastCOast on a cloudy day.
Looking foe the right angle for the BEST picture. the horizon..
hey Stef.. let me give you a hand.. haha.
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Sunday, March 09, 2008 @23:11
i once thought that it won't affect me anymore. i once thought that I am able to handle this. i once thought that I am brave.
that was just a once thought.
those songs never touch my heart like it did. but the tears fall as the rain falls.
emo.
hate the world. hate being outside.
emotions are display cos of a certain reason. it doesn't just come like it does. even the slightest reason. I do care.
i do not understand. i do not know. i never seem to understand. *smile* I know he/she knows you the best. I know he/she understand you the best. I know.
my heart's throbbing.
those words kill every single cells in my heart.
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Time= Money?? I want to have financial FREEDOM!!! I don't want me to be my financial security. Security comes when you build up a passive income. that's when money keep generating even if you lose the ability of earning.
time to shit. ciao!
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Thursday, March 06, 2008 @10:26
in my dreams,
you are mine,
not hers not his not theirs
the uncertainty, the confusion, the emotions, the heavy traffic, the irritating crowd, these are making me frustrated.
is it because of you? or just me?
every night, out of at 5 dreams, i see you in at least one. should I be glad? should I be sad? glad that I get to hold you in my dreams, sad that I have to wake up from those dreams. every moment, I treasure like I never did. every night, I will think before I go to bed, hoping to see you again. hoping to hold you again. hoping to hold you again. hoping to protect you again. to see your smile, makes my tears flow.
chilling time peeps! .I need to chill badly. I need everything from Café Iguana.
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Wednesday, March 05, 2008 @22:18
set up , tear down set up again, tear down again. yawns, thats all we are doing.
itp is kinda fun, with a really nice department, with nice people.. with nice mates.. the breakfast gang!! ah~~ time for breakfast..
did i say that I saw this guy that had this SAME fred perry polo as me?? argh~~ I thought my taste is great, but it was now.. -_-
yeah~~ free food today.. I settled my dinner just like that.. so cool.. and I'm ... burp!
brought coach over to hall for his mommy.. haha~~ ok, seems like mommy needs more time with him, haiz, mom is always over protective of their kids.. right? ok, maybe that lady is too engross with our son.. calling him "baby".. saying weird things like "do you miss ... (whatever)" with that tone.. the prata shop uncle is so nice that I hope that he hurry return coach to me before I become a prata..with egg!
hey peeps, lets chill man! haha~~ life will be so much better if you chill!
everyone gotta have a principle, hold it there but not too high, don't be too stubborn with what you hold. that's your personality, yes.. but, can be alittle flexible with it. maybe this "adult" will come to you saying things that you dont like, or not pleasing to your ears.. and all you want to say is "hey fuck off la, we have generation gap" ... as time passes, as you experience more things, you will look back and see those mistake you made. ...
miss this, miss that as the pictures play, the video did too. as the songs sing, your everything came to mind, everyday it will play at least once, every single memory, every single moment, every single second, every single laughter, every single thing about you, just flood my mind. I will smile silently. as the tears fall silently. occupy myself with alot of things, but why... why are those things playing like I paid ten million dollars to the cinema. do I want it to stop? do I not want it to stop?
I'm so afraid to lose even that little part of you.
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
Sunday, March 02, 2008 @13:51
alcohol.. I love it.. I need it to relieve myself from all those shit.. it taste like fuck, but ... I will just take it one after another.. till I am drunk.. till I can't think.. till nothing runs thru.. till you disappear..
soon after, I will start missing.. I will start thinking.. I will start all this again..
what can I do to over come this overwhelming thought.. holes? tattoos?? what else??
I hate Singapore being so small.. every corner there seems to be your shadow.. even my house.. I see you in everything I do.. in every decision I make..
do you care? do you not care?
I need vodka.. I need tequila.. I need margarita.. I need popper.. I need shot.. everything..
I want to be drunk all day long -sigh-
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
@13:45
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
@13:15
28 feb 08 Ryan's Birthday.. Happy birthday dude..
present present.. wow.. Gucci eh..
Balloons?? haha.
Fred perry shirts!!!
oops.. the monkey is desperate.. haha
the presents I've got.. so many so many.. i'm so HAPPY..
My cake eh.. and I'm not a baby...
CHEERS!!!
I love my white fred perry shirt.. and I love my best bud..
what would you like to have?? tequila ok?
??angela baby??(the model??) haha far from that la... she's just a piece of lame shit..
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
@10:59
what have I done lately?? I forgot??
it was Michelle's birthday on the 27th, it was Ryan's birthday on the 28th, it was my birthday on the 29th..
everything went on well and good at work I suppose, nothing much had happen, just that I am working my bloody ass off everyday.. Fook man! Furd planned for a birthday dinner at er... what's that place?? mm.. anyway, its a place that serve GREAT pasta, AWESOME pizza, SoSo sandwich, mouth watering desserts!!! and the wonderful view of the river..
ok, I am just so annoying that day I suppose.. -_- cos its just an extra day.. haha.. chill people.
anyway, i enjoyed myself so much that I concussed while opening the presents.. funny right? and my dad off ALL the lights and throw me alone in the living room to sleep? like HUR?what the....
I love all my presents!!! -Fred Perry shirts -Gucci Handphone Strip -handphone condom -teddy bear -Agnes b watch -N81 phone -some puzzle -tee shirt -perfume .. er.. haha -CARDS!!! -PARTY -SURPRISES!!!
I love the last three alot..
thanks dudes and babes for the messages that keep coming in on that day, haha I feel so loved.. ^^
I love birthday and gonna miss this one so much.. wait for the next to come.. like anyone else..YIPPIE!
ah... plan for the future? haha.. not really.. I am just a slacker.. I guess more holes... I guess more stuff.. I guess more shopping!!! More party, more interactions, more friends, more this more that.. more time.. what the fuck am I suppose to do with more time? I don't know yet.
met up with ganma yesterday to do some shopping and lunch.. met up with the girls for some chat and shopping again? met up with Angela, Catherine, Edward, MX, Ryan along with wei.. haha .. NYDC for dinner.. then off we went.. the 5 of us to Iguana to have a drink.. nice place, its 40% off after midnight.. we chatted, play.. whee~~~ what a day.. I think I only had one glass? or 1.5 glass? and guess what, they say I am drunk.. what the fook? I am not that week.. the rest......... then I am home and here I am..
*hurhurhur*
Yi got my secrets.
but; i only share it with my teddy
♥` PROFILE
name: Zachery
age: 19/4yrs
Cute; Charming; Cheeky; Confident; Clever
thats crap.. but its me*grin*
28 feb 08
