I am sorry..

I am too sad to think right..

I am too scare to do right..

will this cause anything..
will that do any harm..

.. .. .. .. ..

Yucks~what an ugly bedsheet my mom put on..
too childish, lady!!

I need something more mature, gosh..
I want my king size bed, I want my mature bedsheet.. i want a huge comforter..
I will have a great night sleep..

I am learning to love my job,
the boss is learning to joke with us, getting to know more people..
hurhur~~ you know you know..
some people are the motivation to make you wanna go to school..
ah~~ crap!

learn this, learn that, experiences.. so valuable..
ask.. and it shall be taught..

chill people, take it slow.. take it easy..
move it with the rhythm.. move your body.. sway~~
I am learning, I am trying to adapt, I am forcing?
what is it??
I love the song in my lappy now..

so NICE AH!!!

off to work once again..
what a MOnday..

sleeping away my Sunday, it was Great??

I don't know, but I just keep sleeping..
maybe to stop something..
maybe to ....

I am selfish..
cos I only want what I want..
and not think about others..

off to work once again..
what a MOnday..

sleeping away my Sunday, it was Great??

I don't know, but I just keep sleeping..
maybe to stop something..
maybe to ....

I am selfish..
cos I only want what I want..
and not think about others..

thinking that I am selfless, it turn out that humans are all selfish..
actions that is done determined that you are selfless,
but look into it,
whatever you have done, is cos you wanted something.. selfish??

I give so much, cos I want you to be happy.
I love so much , cos I want you to be happy.
cos I want you to feel like a princess.
cos I want you to live like one.
cos I want you to feel blissful.
cos I want cos I want cos I want...
that is all I want, isn't that showing how selfish I am?
now I see how selfish I am..

I am sorry that I didn't ask you if you would like to be treated this way.
I am sorry that I didn't ask you if you like to be a princess.
I am sorry that I didn't ask you if I am who you want.

ask yourself guys.. if you think you are selfless to whoever.
you will see actually you are selfish.

someone jab this into me..thanks!

Morning baby, I am going to work soon.
haven't been texting it out for 4 days.
Good night hon, I am off to bed, Sleep tight. I love you.
haven't been sending it out for 4 nights.

I miss you alot.
I am selfish, cos I am missing you.
hoping that you can do the same. but... i'm just selfish.

but I just can't stop thinking of you.
I am hesitating if to message you when I miss you..
I am always hesitating..

it seems that I have lotsa tears,
it doesn't seems to end..

there is something that is in me since the day I met you..
that is, I love you..
I dare not tell you 6 months ago
I dare not tell you now
I have to get myself drunk to tell you that,
that is when I can let my tears flow,
that is when I can seriously show that I miss you.

a.. I am just wondering what you are doing???
I am just wondering will you be going back to hall??
I am just thinking about you..

struggle.. should I talk to you..
should I should I should I??
do you think that I'm a pest?

but I really want to..
text you...

the sudden drop of your messages in my inbox makes me feel weird,
when I have the urge to message, I will have to throw my phone away..

but... I miss you alot!
sigh..

23 feb.....

I celebrated my birthday..
my birthday is on the 29 of February, btw.

thanks people for coming down..
i shall slowly list everyone.. hopefully i still remember.. haha

mom, dad, Brother, eldest aunt,eldest aunt's husand, 2nd aunt, 4th aunt, 4th aunt's husband, 5th aunt,5th aunt's husband, 6th aunt,yang papa, ganma, kaiye, karen, 2nd cousin, ahbao jiejie, samuel, daniel, don, jian ming, jeanne, Teng sian, Michelle, ah yuan, Kevin, xiao an,

Ryan, Khairi, MX, Weihong, KL,Edward, Angela, Catherine
Furd, YLing, Pepe
Bra-de Ray, Mingming, ming's sister
the girls!- Su, Stella, Rach, Wei, Xiang, Sherin

did I miss out anyone????? I hope not..

I had fun playing the pinata!!
thanks to weiwei.. wahaha.. such a nice friend, she got it for me cos I said wish to have one for my birthday, a long wait before I can play it.. im so touched..
but the thing make me look like a bloody fool.. damn it!!
its really for kids, I suppose the adults are damn fascinated with it..
ok the boys act real fast at cleaning the floor of candies and chocolate.. and the girls are just looking out for the condoms!!

Burp!!! the cake is so chocolate.. so black.. but its quite nice.. cos its big.

i will upload the pictures soon, when i find my card reader..

post party chilling session in my room, I suppose I got drunk..
its always the case I think, at least I can release some emotion..
thanks girls for staying back to drink..

and all my beloved presents!!
yay!!
-teddy bear(precious tots)
-Fred Perry tee(my shirt my shirt)
-Agnes b wallet!!!(whee!!)
-puzzles
-Tee
-condoms
-Daifuko?? (whatever.. I love it)
-red packets
-and ALL THOSE WONDERFUL MEMORIES!!!

how am i to let you know how much I miss you..
how am i to let you know how much I love you..

hide it all... I hate it the way it is now,
to act like nothing happens, to act like I am fine.
I am such an actor, a pretender...

to make it as if I don't care anymore,
to make it as if I don't love anymore,
to make it as if you are no longer important,
to make it as if you are not the one anymore,
to make it as if I let go,
to make it as if I moved on,
when I know very well, that I am still standing right here,
waiting silently..

holding onto the hope that you might just turn back and look,
you might hesitate.

as you walked further and further,
your shadow slowly fade away,
within my heart, it etched,
the past, its so beautiful...
the childish act, childish temper,
how I wish I can be doing it to you again...

I miss you like mad...

ah~~ I need you so bad...
I am still waiting, I am still holding...
I am still thinking, I am still missing...
I am still loving
you

I don't know what am I to do to make you realize that I haven't given up on you,
I don't what am I to do to face you,
everytime I see you,
I want so bad to hold you,
I want so bad to give you a peck,
I want so bad to comfort you in my embrace,

Seems like you are keeping a distance,
which left me standing at the same spot,
without moving my arse.

when can I start acting?
when can I start woo-ing?

having this thinking,
am I right or am I wrong?

Do you still want this?
Do I still stand a chance?

what a day!

so normal...
what the fuck is what I am thinking..
so near yet so far...
once again this kind of rejected feeling..

my wish is just for you to be by my side forever..

I miss you so much,
yet I can't tell you that I miss you that much.

I feel so miserable for days... 1 day 2 days 3 days...
is it still counting?
please, stop this counting.. I hate numbers now..

everyone is asking me to cheer up,
everyone is asking me not to think so much,
everyone is asking me to divert my attention..
the everybody is just 3 people..

I told myself not to let it roll down,
but why is it so difficult to control..
the more I say don't ,
the more it comes...

times when I almost lose it at work,
but I have to wait.... wait till I'm home...
wait till everyone is sleeping,
wait till its mid night,
then I can let it go,

memories are flowing back,
there is no stop,
there is no pause,
how come?
what kind of system is this brain.

I really want you back so bad,
I really want to hold you so bad,
I miss every single part of you.

Coach is missing you too?
I don't know.. if he knows, *haha* I doubt he knows
he only care about the fingers...

its raining, again...
never before this kind of down pour,
I'm glad and grateful for that...

tears raindrop..
no difference,
just when I can't hold it.

I told myself not to miss you, but I am missing you..
I told myself just to let you be for a while, but I am thinking of you..
I told myself be happy, but I am always holding onto those tears..

almost lose it, but somehow, I suck it back..

I will be fine.

why is it always not you...
I am waiting for you to pop up..

i told it not to flow..






but it is still flowing...



how?

what is it that you can't tell me?
what is it that you have to hide?
what is it that you have to go mia?
what is it that you think i can't help?
what is it that you think you will feel better when you are alone?

this make me frustrated..
this make me helpless..
this make me useless..
this make me hate myself..

i want to take you by your hand thru this..
i want to hold you tight when you are falling apart..
i want to stand with you when the your world is splitting up..
i want to just be by your side..

can you give me this chance to just be by your side??

with every action there's a reaction.
every reaction will then become an action.
then trigger a reaction.

but the sad thing is, most of us will see the 2nd and 3rd stage of this cycle and overlook the first.so when an ending reaction is being played out, bring it back to why is that the reaction.track it back.

reaction is only showed when there is an action, it is impossible to clap with one hand. it is impossible to light a candle without fire. it is impossible to form clouds without water and heat. it is impossible sing without voice. it is impossible to count without numbers.
the link is there, see it?

a long long day went by just like that..
I'm freaking tired..
0600 till 1139..
working hours suck..

made mistakes, learning, experience..
isn't that what ITP is all about?

crap it!
I injured my fingers!!!!
stupid tripod.. stupid shampoo..
argh~~
this is not the first time that my finger got squashed..
fine, i was bathing.. happily..
then ah ha~~ time to use some shampoo..
I think I under estimated the length of my SUPER LONG finger.. and..
ironically, its my pinky that is Long.. *haha*
and I hurt it one more time..
what a "pleasure"

Chingay was ok, F1 was loud.. damn fire crackers burst my ear drums..
er... but..
experience height I suppose..
carrying tripod and running is shite..
and I'm freaking tired now, but I still have to satisfy my hunger..
oh~did I mention before?
Michelle Chia is so damn HOT!
*heehee*
thats random -_-

work tomorrow.. *ha* how fun..

Did I say that ITP started?
Oh~shite, I think i didn't,
yes it started!
like YAY!!! and WTH!!
clean this, mop that, sweep here, move there...
ARGH~ ~

yesterday's OB was fine, I get to learn alittle about the complex camera set up..
*hee*
and see how the cue-ing of stuff,

basically slacking when the game starts, cos we are INTERNS..
and pack pack pack..
WHEE~~ the fastest as told.. WHEE~~ the girls ROCKs~~

had fun, but its really hell when it come to shooting, super boring,
luckily I had two really nice and funny head?
*cheers* they are just full of crap and loaded with jokes..
many things to learn, many things to do,
lecturing is unavoidable, anyway...

tomorrow is a long long long day...
all the way from 830 till I DONT KNOW WHAT TIME...
I prefer a blank cheque to a blank work schedule..
my weekends are BURNT! totally...