so much had happen those days.
School is finally over....
except for exams.
*woots* planning to work....
then to earn drum,
then get my drum set....
saw it Yesterday in town, will cost me 2k++

school was nothing but busy....
in school from morning till midnight,
how fun it is
I can even camp over in school while rushing assignments.
we kinda enjoyed it ALOT!!!
having fun doing those work together.
SHG rox!!!
I will miss DDM1A23, hoping that we can stick together for the next 2years,
cos we are the slackers in the whole DDM....
had tonnes of fun while slacking.
its amazing how relax we can be when we had 10 modules; 10 projects; tests
no life-ing all day....
those in other classes seem so stressed up....
lecturers seemed to have given up on us,
we are a bunch of heckcare freak in this media industry
*smile* we're a unique classs, where FUN is our only aim and goal when we're in school.
Hmm~~ gonna miss those lecturers... especially Geoffery~~ he is the one who gave us the nickname SHG. he's a sound engineer, and he promised us to bring us to see how he work... if i ever can form up a band, i will do recording in his studio. he's mean enough to say it will cost ALOT!!! but he's our very one and only Breakfast lecturer.
the others... I will be seeing them in second year, if i ever can pass....*wahaha*

attended Wei's birthday a week ago...
got myself drunk*WTH*
can't believe it
so friends please dont ask me to drink *thanks*
i think i can't control my mouth
and you will want to SLAP me....
cos, i think they did.... hmm~~
today is Su's birthday, going out to celebrate with her
SHe is down these days.... cos of that Justin
but she will pull through, i think, at least I will try my best to help
tho' i really dont know how....
maybe just be there when she needs someone
she has been very VIOLENCE lately
*sigh* and OUCH!! it hurts, cos she really wack me!!
*WTH* as long as she is happy doing so, I guess, Im fine with it *smile*
you guys seem to be treating me like a kid these days...
how come?? bunch of weirdos.... talk to me like im still so childish*shakehead*
Wahaha....
Wei seems to be a little not right these days too....
*hahaha* what's up people!!!
talk it out like i do, you will feel better
it will be clearer if you do*smile*
*maybe I should treat you guys icecreams to cheer you people up, cos i always work for me... no matter how shit i feel, vanilla icecream makes me happy for a moment, that moment last forever*

went out with michelle+Ganma+my aunty....
finally after weeks of home and school....
have no mood to buy anything yesterday, sigh~~ so not my style.
I think I'm sick
*hee~~*
things I want to get
-watch(big face + white)
-bag(big+style+cool)
-shoes(skaters/sneakers)
-slippers(beach+casual)
-ralphLaurensPolo(lightOrange)
Will be shopping for those things these days
hoping that i can find*smile*
It's always hard for me to get those planned shopping list
cos nothing seems to be what I have plan to get
*Oh, just wanna say sorry to Ganma...cos my damn phone bill shoot up to 400bucks++... oopsy, haha.*
Oh~~ and we are planning to go.... Australia or Japan.... still thinking tho'.
to me anywhere will be fine.*smile*

Yesterday, daddy got breakfast for us early in the morning.
*wow* shocked!! but kinda sweet of him....
Aw~~ thankiew ,daddy!!! *loveYou*
seems like he's playing a role of mommy
my mom NEVER ever would wake up in the morning to get breakfast
*WTH* how i wish she can do that. but, that's just a dream....
that's why I love my daddy more than mommy... oopsy... *covermouth* dont let her hear that....
amazingly, we chatted real nicely for the first time after months....
and i get to know lots of things
she seems to be facing lots of thing, which I didnt know*sorry*.... maybe its time for me to talk to her. her brother is in the mental hospital, and have tumour, he is kinda getting out of control and that bothers my mom. she feels sad, losing sleep at night.*sigh*.
her elder sister's goddaughter is getting married... shortgun.... that's what i Heard
anyway, it doesnt concern me.... she is 26yrsold... so i guess its ok*smile* congrats!!!
she received a call early in the morning, that my cousin's husband's knee swell up, can't even walk. *sigh* another problem for her to worry.
I think, I really didnt show enough concern for that poor mother of mine...
*feelsbad* but.... there is so much she had done to me and said to me that makes me treat her that way.... I will try to show more care and concern for her tho' .... she seems to be wanting to mend back our already broken relationship. but everytime, her care for me makes me pissed and annoyed me... anyway, thats what I will try to improve this year.

that little rascal at home went to primary1 this year...
heard that he is being bullied in school.*WTH*
haiz~~ its time for him to learn to protect himself,
no more greenhouse treatment, little plant.*hee*
he is irritating too... but, i just ignore him.
I seems to tell him lots of things indirectly*wahaha*
if mommy ever talk to him, she will know alot too.
but, sadly, she dont talk to him nicely.
I feel that my brother reflects my mom....
from the day he is born, I feel that he is my mom's son,
and I used to think that I'm my dad's daughter....
mommy is always treating him well, so obvious that she favours son more, is it a mistake to ever agreeing to wanting a little brother*hahaha* too late to regret, so... i think, its a good thing he is here... at least, daddy and mommy have someone to entertain them, since i'm so busy in school.

and one more person... she is so important to me....
things seem to be going well and good, but I got her mad once AGAIn....
*sigh* sorry....
she is really sweet that day to accompany me through the night, while i rush my STSB assignment. always so sweet, and I know it...*pout* dont say I didnt realise. its just that I didnt say.*smile* but seems like I have to tell you everything I think and feel from Now on.... hope that you can do the same too..
These days, I feel so happy, dont know why, maybe cos, I feel so so so In love with you.*smile* even if things go wrong, that smile dont seem to fade from my idiot face.... how i want the world to know that I'm so inlove with you, how i want my happiness to fill the world. how i wish my friends can know how blessed I am. how i wish they can know about you.
know how sweet you are
know how cute you are
know how much I love you
know how deep ive fallen for you
know how blur you are
if ever have the chance,
if only I can.... i want to make the world know that I love you so much
I need you so bad
tell me that there is nothing better than making you mine....

hmm... and about me these days...
life is just normal
still hate club
Im gonna get back my money, FINALLY!!
still planning to quit that damn club, but, i still have job to finish Before i can quit, cant be so irresponsible
got lots of books... comic and novel
gonna drown myself in them ....
hmm~ watched a few films these days...
shit, im watching it and I talk to friends in those terms
*sigh* what the hell is happening, why am i looking at the camera angles, the shooting technics, the lighting, setting and stuff
should those things to be left in school, why is it following me?*weird*
i feel so weird.*wahaha* never gonna enjoy films like how others does. but, im fine with it. cos, i love to obvious those things so naturally. seems to be in me....
thinking alot these days.... but its just a reflection of how the past one year had been.
looking forward to more exciting stuff, and looking for more fun in life
spreading love to everyone....
learn to treasure those around me... hold them close to me and never let them go, everyone, but I will hold you the tightest and closest to me.

oh~~ took lots of picture these days too...
will upload it someday.... a form of memories of those wasted days...*wahaha* nah~~ days that is meant to be treasured, cos noone can foresee what the future will be like. maybe after I blog this super long entry, I will not be able to do so again. it might be the last one. *hee* oops.. dont slap me Wei.*protectmycuteface*wahahha.

Doing STSB.
Script is a light humour, but i dont seems to be able to write it the way it was suppose to be like.
But anyway I had it out. SOmehow.
SO cold today.
Is the weather or is it me....

THose songs seems to be playing in my mind
how i wish i can hit the stop button
how i wish it can just stop
if not i really don't know how long more can i suppress those tears.

everyday there are so many people facin with the same problem as me
i wonder how they can survive that
*sigh*
overheard from FM that our brain can keep sad memories at the back of the brain.
Are they deceiving themselves by doing so.

Why is SS forcing people to be happy?
Ignorant freak
So what if I'm moody....
dont call me then
*sigh*
crazy people around me these days.

CLub people have been bugging me....
lecturers have been chasing me for assignments
classmates bugging me to smile
*shakehead*
so tiring to act happy when i am not.
but, i will do as they wish
maybe by doing so, they will assume that i'm fine, which makes them feel happy.

that heart of mine,
seems to be so far away
so beyond reach
so numb to feelings
things around me seems to be moving
but im stepping at the same old spot
living in my own world
cry as i wish
smile at those tears
laugh at that foolishness
speechless to what is happening
my world is crashing down
acting normal infront of people
deceiving them
you;
parents;
classmates;
friends;
relatives;
strangers;
others....
can't be truthful even infront of myself
staring at the mirror, it don't seems to reflect myself anymore.
it is someone else in there.
why can't I be more true to those around me, how i wish they can see the sadness.
but how can i show them, how can I be so selfish to make them sad.
hiding all to me myself and I.
to see them smile and enjoy life.
that's all i want.
Never am i going to plant those unhappy seeds of mine into their wonderful life.
Never am i going to hurt those I love. That includes you.
Let it be and let it go. It might be better.

**别像个小孩带着一脸的无奈找不到依赖事到如今我要离开好好站起来
不要再责怪为什么从前不坦白让你身边爱你的人受伤害你是我一生的最坏也是我一生的最爱
不能再照顾你的未来我也要做的明明白白一个人背两人的债受多少苦我也能挨为你跳进忘情苦海死去再活来
何必太悲哀多少爱可以重来上天的安排事到如今怎样去改不要再期待对自己坦白对身边的人都关怀不要再让爱你的人受伤害
你是我一生的最坏也是我一生的最爱不能再照顾你的未来我也要做的痛痛快快一个人背两人的债受多少苦我也能挨为你跳进忘情苦海死去再活来**

smallest action can have THE BIGGESTimpact in

GIVE HER ONE OF YOUR T-SHIRTS TO SLEEPIN
LEAVE HER CUTE TEXT MESSAGES
KISS HER IN FR0NT 0F Y0UR FRIENDS.
TRUST HER 0VER EVERY0NE ELSE.TELL HER SHE L00KS BEAUTIFUL & NOTSEXY.
L00K HER IN THE EYE WHEN Y0U TALK T0HER.
LET HER MESS WITH Y0UR HAIR
MESS WITH HER HAIR
JUST WALK AR0UND WITH HER.
F0RGIVE HER F0R HER MISTAKES.
L00K AT HER LIKE SHE'S THE 0NLY GIRLY0U SEE.
TICKLE HER EVEN WHEN SHE SAYS ST0P.
H0LD HER HAND EVEN WHEN Y0U AREAROUND Y0UR FRIENDS.
WHEN SHE STARTS SWEARING AT Y0U TELLHER Y0U L0VE HER.
LET HER FALL ASLEEP IN Y0UR ARMS
.GET HER MAD, THEN KISS HER.
TEASE HER & LET HER TEASE Y0U BACK.
STAY UP WITH HER ALL NIGHT WHEN SHESSICK.
WATCH HER FAV0RITE M0VIE WITH HER
KISS HER F0REHEAD.GIVE HER THE W0RLD.
WRITE HER LETTERS.
LET HER WEAR Y0UR CL0THES.(SWEATSHIRTS)
WHEN SHES SAD, HANG 0UT WITH HER.
LET HER KN0W SHE'S IMP0RTANT.
LET HER TAKE ALL THE PH0T0S 0F Y0U SHEWANTS.
KISS HER IN THE RAIN.
AND WHEN Y0U FALL IN L0VE WITH HER,TELL HER.
AND WHEN Y0U D0 TELL HER.
L0VE HER LIKEY0U NEVER L0VED BEF0RE.

GDIT finally over..
result out too..
happy that its over...
we are the 3rd among the whole level
1st in class
*smile* have to act happy.... sigh

sudden lost of interest in life and everything
walking aimlessly....
I'll be fine
Old enough to handle this kind of things....
*Smile*

No longer have that 5cs i used to think i have....
Sigh~~

nothing to say
not gonna say anything
i think its better to keep it to myself
*no comments to anything*

I remembered that i had a meeting at midnight,
can't believe it.
Unconciously being involve in it
Club people just came tagging me on msn.
Hate it
not going on that thing again
asking for this and that
Im gonna quit
Hmm~~ have been saying for months
sigh
but i have so much job allocated to me that i can't leave just like that
IRRESPONSIBLE!!!!!

School seems to be less fun
but somehow I enjoyed
Projects are what i have to face with everday I open my eyes
deadlines are what I have to meet
*so no life*
Its gonna be over....

Dad got kinda unreasonable yesterday
quarrel with me for nothing
blaming me for takin up this course
*WTHeaven*
comparing with someone elses workload
how i wish i can be someone else
you people just dont understand
*shakehead*
What to do??
*smile*
they are just so nice to me that they asked so much
which PISSED me off after a day in school facing those people

belle's corner
just hope that things are getting better for us.
I dont know what we will be facing
I dont know what will the future be like
I just want to wake up the next day to love you the same like yesterday
Loving you seems to be that only thing other than those assignments.
Yesterday might not be always filled with happy memories
but those are definately precious memories
Always hoping for a happier future
striving to make you happy each day
my action makes you sad sometimes
keeping in mind that happiness is what i want to bring to you
tears are so unavoidable
each time I break your loving heart
it shattered mine to pieces
with every tears you shed
my heart aches.
Always saying that I want to make you happy when you are crying
seems like Im making you worst by crying along
I wonder why... then i realise is because, Im the one that brought those tears to you
the one that breaks your heart....
yesterday was such a memory
tomorrow is so unpredictable
today I will Love you like D-day
leaving none for the next
future is what I want
which is so uinreachable
Still holding on my dreams
the one that I want you to share.

Im so sad not because what you told me

sad that I will have to let you go tho' i love you so much
sad that why we love each other
sad that why is it so unfair

i can't stop those tears from flowing
have been crying since 0502 when i read the first message you send me
hate those alarm....
My heart so much....
so much that it is killing me....

i really dont want to let go....
i really dont mind....
i really love you so much....
please dont leave me
please dont give me away
please dont....

tell me what wrong have i done....
I will change
i really will.

i really cannot let go
i dont know that it will be so sad when i wake up
in that case, i rather not wake up.

i was hoping for a new day ahead
to love you the way i used to
to continue planning for our first valentine
looking forward to my birthday present from my beloved you
looking forward to see you again
.....
but its all shattered when you want a breakup

I feel like dyin now.
Im so hurt

I love you so much
I need you so bad
I miss you every second
I really cannot live without you

please....
don't leave me like that
i cant take it
i really can't

Why can't we love each other since we love each other
its so unfair
why cant i love you like any other people does
I am willing to give everythin
even my life in exchange.

I can only hide and cry
I can only hide all my love for you
I can only hide the heart that miss you
I can only hide the mind that thinks of you
I can only hide those tears that only drop for you

All i can do is hide....
but im terribly hurt
it hurts so much
so much that my heart seems to stop
it only beat for you
the moment you decide to walk out of my life,
it stop beating
My heart starts to cry
my tears starts to fall

once my dear, always my dear.
you might think that you are a nobody to me
but the fact is you are so precious to me
tho' i treat everyone nice
but, my love for you makes you special
if i can allocate place in myheart
you will be in the center
the place where the blood interchange
the place where you can witness it beats for you every second
its the tears that i cried for this relationship make it ever so strong.
it is you who always dries it....
but now.... are you going to do it too?

Im not going to let go
never am I

Im sorry to say that i cant let go
I really cannot....

*stretch+yawn*just woke up. Its the best sleep ever.*grin*
went to town till near midnight yesterday, met up with Su and Wei
wonderful chat i would say.
thought through alot as Su talk about herself and justin.
*gosh* hate that feeling man.... but i choose to believe
dont know why.... *smile*

wish that Su can stand strong facing it, just want her to know that without him, there are lots more friends here for her. And STOP thinking about ending your life cos you cried so much...hee. but saw her yesterday, hmm... she looks ok. to me. kinda violent, "please dont be so violent" she just love to touch me, touch a little too hard that it hurts. without warning. SIgh~~
hmm~~ kinda true, just ask and i will help you*smile* aint me so nice? but, sometimes being nice doesnt mean you will get a thanks... but it doesnt matter to me, but please dont blame me for being nice.

Happy Birthday WEIWEI==>wish before i forget....she's 19 already!!! wooots. "what you want for your birthday?? you seems to have everything, sigh. Hmm~~ maybe... you wantme?? say and it shall be given. wahaha"

i was dumb enough to bring my lappy to school without the charger. *dumbdumb*==>m~e!! *smile* i wonder why i didnt bring... no one can tell me the answer.
school was kinda ok yestersay. DOne with MAYA and my GEMs test. *hee* cleared two more. MORE TO GO!!!
Going for draw today, and home again. *YES!!!* beginning to love school as there isnt so much to do now. *bigGrin*

I wonder is my face that funny?? Have been looking into the mirror once i reached home yesterday, but i dont see anything funny about my face. Its normal. I still like to play the game with you people.. stare into my eyes friends, tell me what you are thinking through that eyes of yours.
have been gaying around in school and town.... wonder what's wrong. Hee~~ Su cant stand me... seems likeonly a few people can. ==> only 1A23 people can. *oops* Su and Wei just wanna slap me when i do that, but BUT!!! that makes me wanna DO IT!!! JUST DO IT!!!
*pout* why stop me from speaking chinese. I think my chinese kinda rocks. am i really that bad?? what accent, i dont get it. I admit that i cant write anymore. but, i did try to relearn it.
I am so glad that Su can laugh so hard yesterday. i dont mind making you smile... as long as you are happy. i will be happy. Just hope that you guys will be happy goingout with me. just hope that I dont appear to you that im unhappy or whatever to you. *smile* think Im doing pretty well.smile alot my friends....24/7smiling!!!!!!! Cheers for our friendship.

Hmm~~ haven't been talking to you since yesterday. *pout* only a message. Miss you so so so so so MUCH~~ only can look at lappy when i think of you. THat can make me smile. feel so sweet thinking of you. *smile* gosh~~ i think Wei gonna slap my idiot face. cos, i feel myself smiling to myself again.
Can't wait to see you today....cant wait for 20thJan.. cos you can reply to my messages... cant wait for valentine... cos i can give you surprises....cant wait for lots of things.... the ultimate one will be.... cant wait to see you AGAIN!!! *bigbigbigsmile*

gotta help my brother with his work, later....

few more days to go....
i'll be out of misery

cleared
-CRS(reviews)
-Java(script for game)
-DVID(video presentation)
-CD(communityservice)

soon to be cleared
-Maya(presentation-today)
-Gems(test-today)
-DAUD(radio reporter-25jan)
-GDIT(designofproducts-lastweekofsem)
-STSB(scriptwriting-soon)
-Draw(storyboardforcomic-thursday)

woots~~just a little more!!!

gonna be mugging to day. dont even dream about sleeping, cos i took redbull.second time I took it, though I know its not healthy, but i have no choice. Sigh~~ i have got test to study... so i have to force myself to be awake to study.I'm sort of done with my Maya book(a report kind of thing). At 0900 will be the presentation.*gosh* erwin gonna be a big problem.sigh~~ my animation sucks big time. but whatever, know him too well. hoping that he wont fail me. *hee*

just finish chatting with you. =) more motivation to study. *haha* happy happy~~ you are working tomorrow, sigh~~ am missing you already.
"sleeptight,sweetheart. may you have a wonderful dream.*kiss*"
feels bad to make you stay up with me, especially you have work tomorrow. and that you have to wake up super duper early.. but i really enjoys those nights with your company. ^_^
hmm~~ i cant wait for my birthday, cos i'm gonna be surprised by you. *hee*. but dont forget VALENTINE comes first. *hahaha*... so my plan will be put to action first. time to start planning now... woots~~ love planning surprises. *grin* can't wait for you to tell me that you are surprsied by my surprises. Just so my hobby to do so.

okok~~ gotta study for Gems.... later!!!

gosh~ guess im really tired, concuss yesterday.
unconcious.
slept till 0830.... when i was suppose to be sitting in the lab at 0800
so i was like an hour late for my own class.*hee*

having DVID presentation later in the day.
sigh~~ a shitty video, everyone gonna puke
and i will see lots of question marks popping up
*cry* WTheaven is that....

Stress:things to do
-study for GEMs test(wednesday)
-sketchbook(wednesday)
-maya video(wednesday)
-8frames comic(thursday)
-DAUD(friday)
-GDIT(nextmonday)
-survey for teamAdv(nextmonday)

Leisure
-Wei's Bday stayover(saturday)
-sleeping marathon(woots)

life is becoming more and more meaningless as the schedule fill my 24hrs. I dont even have time to talk to my parents, WTH. staying in school till late hour of the day. Leave home even before my brother is awake. No time for phone, no time for teevee, no time for games, no time for shopping, no time for meal.. everything is such a rush for the past 1weekplus. can i stop my life from fast forwarding. No time to even take a breather. *sigh*

plan for the day....
gotta think of how am i to spend my one day without you. so far so good. but im thinking of you every now and then. just like now, as i blog, i am missing you. missing you since the time i woke up today. from 0830 till 1137. you will be on now(past experience). knowing that you have work to day, yet im still holding on to the hope that i can see you today. *smile* hmm~~ so silly, yes i know.
worrying for you(secretly), cos you are sick yesterday, yet have to work.*sigh* you should be resting. *hee* oops~~ blogging that i am worrying for you dont seem so secretive after all.
"Ipray, that you have a good and fun day. hope that you are back to health to enjoy this wonderful day at work.happyday at work ^_^ "

waiting.... its rendering... taking forever.
time to shit~~ woohoo~~ wooms.... offff i go~~ *just kidding*
hee~~

The train was super duper pack today. almost late for java interview. Got in the class just on time.*phew*
ITs finally over... woots~~ less burden... preparing for test.
Currently in DVID lab doing capturing for video, gosh, some thing is very wrong with the computer, hmm~~ maybe is my skill. *wahaha*.

-maya(camera movement+lighting+rendering)
-CRS(800 words report)
-DVID(export+uploading to folder)
*today's schedule*

Just hope that i can have homecooked dinner soon, sigh~~ seems like months without proper homecooked food. first time in my life missing mom's cooking *wtheaven*
getting my niece and cousin and my brother into some model thing, gosh~ hard to be middle man. anyway, almost done with my job. ^_^ kids model, lots of problem, hee~~ hope that they wont cry when they are to walk the runway. and it's only helping stella with her project. *smile*
read su's blog yesterday, hmm~~ seems like she is kinda depress. *sad* what is happening to her. so i text her, anyway i forgot what i said to her, but she is kinda funny to reply..." so sweet:) I miss you too. and finally we'll be meeting soon.lets stay overnight alright" ... is she so lonely?? hope that she is ok... sigh~~ how i wish we all can keep her company at this period of time, but seriously everyone is so busy with work. just a text is all i can afford, maybe when we are all free, we can meet up to have a 24hrs chat. *smilegirl*

wrote a letter for you =) . did it yesterday.... hmmm~~ will be sending it over soon, miss you so much...*pout* still not online. sigh. can't wait to see you.... soon~~ haha.

just a comment, msn suck!!! hate it... imvu as well.. sigh~~ haha... just don't allow me to chat with you. *cry* .... sniff... where is my cute panda ?!?!?!

rainy day once again.
some kind of adv club meeting at PS, 1230. gosh~~ rainy days just make me wanna stay indoor. dont feel like going at all.
went in the end, expecting only some kind of activity meeting, but BUT!!! seems like me and KL are kinda in the OC of all this shit. *faint* another community club, other than CSCC. *smile* i love to do Community service tho'. PLanning an adventure to malaysia, i think. Our job is to get those teens to join us on this. and we are to design the webpage and other online stuff.*smile*but i kinda suck in flash and stuff. but, will try my best. meeting end at 1445....around there.

went to shop around for awhile, to sort my thoughts out with wei. Sigh~~
was kinda crazy the whole of today, not sure why... act like trans while shopping in heeren. *LMAO* did lots of stupid things today. like say lots of stupid things. do lots of crazy stuff. just to make myself happy. i guess.
know the fact that only you can make me happy, but i just want to deceive myself. I wonder why.

lots more things to do. Im almost done with my animation when my lappy can't support anymore. Sigh~~
gotta do my sketch book
read my java code
do an essay on an article.

mom help me with my cupboard today..fold my clothes and stuff.. gosh~~ i have over 150 t-shirts. Oops~~ didnt notice when i was buying them. wanted to get more today, but none caught my eye. planning to get a new pair of shoes(globe;adidas;nike;ES....) any of those brands.. *smile*

bought 3 comic books today, get some comfort in reading books..

the first....
the first day we met, you are the one
the first hug, so casual
the first kiss, ever so sweet
the first goodnite, cant bear to leave
the first goodmorning, sun shining so bright
the first fight, know the importance you are to me
the first goodbye, miss you so much
the first gift, wow~~ i love it
the first tear, so painful
the first jealousy, so sour
the first "IloveYou", more to come
first ring, connects us closer together
first "dear" , so dearly
first "honey", sweeter than honey
first text, clear in my mind
first birthday with you, how i wish i was there with you
first surprise, love the way you react
first time when you are blur, woots... love to make you blur
first shopping trip, so unpleasant
first christmas gift, a gift of love
first card, christmas card
first meeting, so shy
first look, so cute
first dream, dont wanna wake up from that
first you and me.... the last pair ever.
howmanyfirstcanyouremember?heehee~~ how many more first i didn't recall.

Is it that i love you too much that makes you pissed??
But i really do love you when i say so....
i really miss you when i tell you that....
i can tell you that im thinking of you every second cos
It feels like shit missing you like crazy....
i say that i cant live my days without you
cos i really cannot
I say that you are my sun
cos you are the one that makes me smile
cos you are the one that warm my heart
cos you are the one that stop the rain
cos you the one I truely love.

8038hrs
its another frustrating day of assignments

FInally Completed
-DVID
-Java(interview on monday)
More assignments
-Maya(animation+camera movement+Audio)-monday
-CRS(2articles+1essay)-monday
-OOPM interview-monday
-DAUD(radio report)-friday
-GDIT(logo+t-shirt design+notepad+stamp+pen+ect)-monday to SS

missing you like crazy till now, gonna be 24hours without you.*sigh*.
still raining, have been raining since yesterday night.
just like my heart right now, its raining inside.

**You are my sun shine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey,
You never know dear how much I love you,
please dont take my sunshine away**
The other nite, dear,
As I lay sleeping I dreamed I held you in my arms.
When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
And I hung my head and cried.
**You are my sun shine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey,
You never know dear how much I love you,
please dont take my sunshine away**
You told me once, dear
You really loved me
And no one else could come between
But now you've left me
And love another
You have shattered all my dreams;
**You are my sun shine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey,
You never know dear how much I love you,
please dont take my sunshine away**

Have been going to school at the early hour of the day.
staying in school for more than 10 hours a day.
home is like my hotel
my bed seems to be begging for my attention
the floor has been my sleeping ground
my lappy has been on 24/7 since first day school started this semester

Stress and more stress
there is no such word as a meal in my dictionary
snacks is what I go for,
quick and easy
everyone is the same in the lab

how much i wish for a drooling dream
how much i wish to cuddle tigger to sleep
how much i wish to sit down the whole day to chat
how much i wish i have a day without assignment

*pout* you seems to be so pissed with me
*sigh* down in mood
it has been raining since yesterday
i was asking why is it raining when i was walking home
and the truth is, it is meant to rain. now i know why
when can i see my sun again
without my sun, days will be so down
24/7 without smile

weather = mood
rainy = moody
sunny = happy
cloudy = lonely
windy = cool

Home at last, rainy night....
caught in the rain....
protected lappy under my shirt

hours of work
tired soul
restless shell

Doing DVID video editing in the lab just now, total breakdown
nobody wanna do it, those guys are so useless, sigh. HAve to do it all by ourself.
grace: how is it??(chelle just left for family dinner)
me: gonna be done.
grace:(open my lappY) *happY* hey gena, guess who is online!!!
me:*smile* ok. hahaha
grace: *smile* okok, come chat with her, but you have to do the work later.
me:*smile* okokok!!! (rush over to lappy) woohoo!!!

busy day = tired body, emotionless soul were energize by YOU
*smilesmilesmilesmilesmilesmilesmilesmilesmilesmile*

Dreamt of you yesterday NIght....
Hmm~am i missing you so much?*smile*
It was a dream that i never wanna wake up from*hahaha*

In school doing my maya animation
was a dread,
and club is pressing on me....
wanna quit club
they like to assume that I dont have things to do,
but the fact is, I place studies before club.*gosh* starting to hate those people

my life
-banana&milk;You
-;family;tigger; school
-friends
-blog;imvu;msn
-bed

not gonna see you today....
did up a wallpaper,
i'll see it if i need to

looking at those clouds up there,
looking at those water droplet fall from the sky
looking at those water on the floor
looking at the SUN
looking at those water evaporate raising
looking at those white fluffy clouds and the clear blue sky.
looking at me
looking at those tears falling from my eyes
looking at the wet pillow
thinking of YOU
those tears seems to disappear into a smile
my days became ever so wonderful due to your presence.

jealousy kills me thousand and one time
but you always manage to revive me without fail
enjoying the life after "death".

more and more people can see that i am so in love,
more and more people tell me that i am in love
more and more people notice that smile
I try to hide, but never can that smile deceive them
and Yes, i am so so so in love with this girl.
the one that make my days so special
the one that i am craving for
the one that i can never stop missing
the one that i always think of
the one that makes me smile
the one that i never get enough of
I smile because I am happy
and my happiness is because I have you

**back to work**

gonna be a busy month....
rushing end of year projects and gotta start studying for exams....
club stuff is so overwhelming
eating up everything i once had....

cant sleep cant eat cant think
rush is the only word i know

a little brain dead now
and its only the first week of school

Sigh~~
cant wait to finish all these things....
end all this as soon as possible....
so my poor shell can rest....
ZZzz....

cried myself to sleep, hoping that tears can bring you into my dream...
but it didnt.

so dead, dont wanna go to school....
walking to the train station.... lose it, swipe off the tears, continue with my journey.
on the train, almost lose it again.... 3 times
*sigh*

everything seems to be crashing down on me, but it doesnt matter. Already DEAD.

looking at you make me cry now,
thinking of you breaks my heart.

Love is so nice that it hurts, now i understand.
letting go is easy to say not easy to do
How i want to tell you, "please S.... loving me".... i cant bring myself to it
knowing that I am losing you, my heart just breaks into thousands and million pieces.
its a struggle every second in me, battle.

a broken heart takes life to heal,
breaking someone's heart can never be healed.
the scars remain, just like those memories.

trails of tears can be seen on my face
redness of my eyes
emo look
keeping myself in the room
hiding myself in my world
I HATE REALITY
fantasy is where i belong,

why is there fairy tale when it is does exist, never going to exist.

i just want you to be ... happy
tho' i feel terrible
but its ok, seriously want you to lead a happy life
everything doesnt matter to me.... *smile*
i am willing to let you go is not because i dont love you anymore
it is because i love you too much....

Go for what you think is right for you,
i will be here right here
waiting....no matter rain or shine,
no matter summer or winter,
no matter weak or strong,
no matter sad or happy,
no matter free or busy....

just want him
to be very nice to you
to treasure you
to love you whole heartedly
to .... bring you.... happiness
bring smile to your life
be there for you when you need him
support you no matter what
makes you happy when you are crying
smile with you when you are happy
place you in the middle of his heart

protect you, how i wish i can
drink for you, cos i cant drink
buy a piano for you, thats your dream to have it at home
bring you to a place that snows during winter, cos that is what you like
take you to the theme park for horsey ride, you like that too
watch that you dont eat rubbish,cos youll get sick
make sure that he dont break your heart, cos I always break it
give you surprises, like I love to do

as long as he love you; you like him
I really dont mind, serious
tho' there will be tears and heartache,
but.... if that can bring you happiness
i gladly endure

anything for you, my princess, forever.

i will disappear for a while,maybe.
so you can love him whole heartedly
i know that love cannot be shared,
i dont want you to be in difficult position
i know that i will be jealous, maybe is me just being selfish
so.... i am letting you go
be with him, love him,whatever you want....

thanks for telling me.... can see that you like him too....
the picture is really....sweet. *smile*
and.... the most important thing is, he love you.

i really dont want to let go....
but.... i really have to....
so.... yea....
i dont know about this....
i know i will regret for life.
*lost*

one more thing
I will be here for you anytime....
be here waiting....
love you when you need it, love you when you dont need it
my arms are always open for you
my heart will always be missing you,tho' my mouth might not say it
my tears will only shed for you, tho' you might not see it
my smile will only appear when I think of you
my surprises are only plan and meant to be for you
my inbox will always be filled with your text, i will see it when i miss you
your cute face will be stored in my sub concious mind, i will take it out when i need to smile
your ever word will be kept safely in my brain-bank, i can lose every memory, but never losing one word you said.

you will still be the one that bring light to my life, i will use candle for now
you will still be the one that makes me smile, i will just live without a smile
you will still be the only sun in my life, wear more clothes maybe

Love you forever.... never am i leaving you, but that is our promise, so i want you to be happy with him... please be happy.... must be happy....

mycutepanda.. sleep more, sorry to make you sleep late those 4 near 5 months. *smile* take good care of yourself.... i seriously will miss you...and love you....secretly.
sillythewayyoulikeit~~

PETTY GUYs are disguisting.
Hate those guys who are petty, even a girl isnt that petty like you!!!!
Eeewww~~~get a life man.
Make me hate you evenMore!!

I am thinking lately, how important am I to ....
where i stand....

**I am not so important after all**
sigh

I seriously hope that i have STM, those really serious uncureable one....

knowing means more heartache
understanding means more pain
there seems to be nothing i can do
but there is definately one thing i can
the thing that i just hate doing
Gosh~~ why is this happening to me
I just cant seems to get myself.... together

losing myself slowly
i cant get anything....right
hiding in this....shell of mine
just dont wanna seee anyone right now
gonna lose lots of fun,
but *shrug* ....F**** it off me

I see no fun in my world now
it's so full of emotions
blow it off....just dont find the courage
shout it out....i dont seems to find the voice
i lost my myself completely in this
i dont feel myself anymore....not a bit

so calm
so emotionless
so fearless

I just want to **** you
the way I want it to be
for you to do the same
but things get too hard sometimes that it just cant be the way it should be

I can only surrender myself,
to what would come.... i never will know
its not meant for me to know either

**you are the one who can send shivers up and down my spine
i want to do to you the thing you wanna do to me. YOu are the one that blows my mind, and now i want to do the same to you. Everything i Need, i just dont seems to see. I have been waiting all my life for someone just like you.**

Woohoo~~ happy new YEaR!!! 2007!!!

Home after a 'celebration' night out....
eating and talking
walk home after that.

just so into walking nowadays....
I am so wide awake now,
so blogging now
*wahaha*

the connection sux big time,
messages were slow like shit

my thoery
-starhub : they deliver messages through stars... so they have to fish for stars to place those messages, and throw them back.*wahaha*. only during PEAK, so relax people. Its hard to fish for stars sometime. That's why you see stars blinking, which means one message is being send out....
-singtel : they have to put those messages into the lyrics ofsongs and sing out. so we have to queue... hmm~~ take so long cos, my message is in the 20th track of the 2nd verse.

sitting in the 24hrs hong kong cafe... eating.... that song plays. Wow~~ gosh makes me think of you. heard it while shopping too. my plans aint going as i wish, time to choose another day.*sigh*.
another songs 5 time while i was in there, coincidental? gosh~~ please dont be.

fireworks?? hmm~~ nice? maybe cos there is restrictions in SG that, we people appreciate those nice nice atomic bombs. *hee* ops~~ that's my own thought, which is for me to laugh at. I have lots of crappy ideas as the new year come.
time to be a little serious now. hee~~ you know why, I know why. wahaha~~

said lots of things today
did little things today
eat some thing today
sleep none today
crap like nobody's business today
thinking of you every second today.
this is just the beginning of today
and the beginning of a NEW NEW NEW year...
CHEERS my friends!!! Bless this friendship!!! *wee~~*